WSIB – UGLY Cars Edition

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[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Gran Touring Motor Sports Podcast Break Fix, where we’re always fixing the break into something motor sports related.

As you know, we’ve asked many of our guests about the mythical three car garage or cars they had as posters on their wall as a kid, or even sexiest car of all time. Well, we thought, this time let’s turn the conversation around and see what’s the ugliest car we could recommend for someone else, and we can’t wait to see what you all come up with.

And as always, I’m your host Brad. And I’m Eric. So let’s roll in keeping with the tradition of what should I buy. We have to set some ground rules. In this case, we have to define ugly. Our usual suspects are always the Aztec, the Pacer, the Edsel, the Brooklyn, and even the hhr. But if you suspend disbelief for, but a moment, you could argue there are ways to make those cars cool.

But tonight we’re talking about an entirely new caliber of ugly. The designs where no [00:01:00] amount of mods could make them better cars with looks that only a mama could love. All right, let’s kick this off. What car would you wish on your worst enemy? I have a 17 slide PowerPoint. . I only came up with 11 cars.

11. That’s my first three slides. What are you talking about? Well, because I figure I’m, I’m, I’m probably picking stuff that some of you may not have thought of. Like there’s the obvious choices like the HHR and the cobalts and the PT snoozer and, and crap like that. And of course the, the square bodies, those are beautiful cars.

So we’re talking about ugly, but the sad thing is so many different styles of stuff’s been done with cars. It’s like they’re running outta stuff to do, cuz what has been done that we haven’t already seen in some concept of former variation on a car already. Hopefully, all we can hope for is the fact that they stop leaning towards the ugly aspects and start looking towards the more appealing when they build stuff in the future.[00:02:00]

Well, the problem you’re running into right now is one, one shape heats the wind. I mean, In all seriousness, next time you’re in a parking lot, go look at the cars and they all look the same. There’s not a whole lot of, well, that’s just it. Like Judy is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Mr. It’s true. And you, you, you have to quantify ugly when it comes to a car because.

They’re ugly, but then you, there’s a whole nother, when you really do your homework, a whole nother level of out there that is, that is easily distinguishable because this is where I draw the line with, what should I buy? Ugly cars, right? Is that a car, like an hhr? Put some wheels on it, maybe a body package, do some, some aftermarket stuff.

No, you could, you could make it look better than it is. But there are cars out there that are impossible to modify and they are ugly from the word go. And I’m gonna highlight a bunch of ’em. making it look better than it already is, is like taking a liquid turd and [00:03:00] making it a solid turd. It’s still a turd.

Now, I will say, since you have this spread, this, this PowerPoint presentation that has 5 billion cars on it, I, I think Eric’s first slide is just gonna be a bow tie, . It’s just gonna the entire lineup. From 19, uh, 79 through 1990 through the present . But the three hour government presentation commence not a government presentation, but I we’re gonna bring a laser pointer out here in a second.

Yeah, yeah. But you guys can see my screen. Yeah. Yeah. We got the Aztec, the vagina, the safety car. It’s a brick one and the h r. So we’re gonna, so we’re gonna, we’re gonna take a step away from what I consider the. , right? Because the Aztec, yes, we all agree it’s ugly. The ed soul is ugly. The HHR is ugly. The Bricklin, which is the car in the bottom left corner, is ugly.

But so if I get the Bricklin and paint it silver to look like a DeLorean, pretty much, I mean, people will be confused. There’s some pictures out there. The Bricklin is as long as a C3 Corvette, and when you put them side by side, they actually don’t look [00:04:00] too different at the right angles, even though the Brooklyn is much more square.

They kind of run a similar profile and it’s kind of and, and it’s kind of interesting. I will say the C3 Corvette is terrible. It is the worst Corvette ever. It’s the worst. It’s the worst. Corvette, the Stingray, that’s not a stingray. Well, it’s a mako shark. I, I mean, I loved my stepdad’s, but his was a 78 20 fifth anniversary.

Yeah. And it had 125 net horsepower. Can you say that Out of oh seven liter motor ? No, it’s 5.7, but it just went zero to 60. Really slowly. There are cars that are far beyond the level of ugly that we know every day. Do we, do we wanna take a trip into the truly ugly Go ahead. Are you guys Yeah, go ahead. Are you guys ready?

I think the Prowler is an ugly goddamn vehicle travel right up there with the PT Cruiser and all those. Yeah. And, but the, the thing that gets me about the prowler is you could buy a prowler with a trailer that was [00:05:00] the back of a prowler. I, I take a little offense to that cause I have the back half of a original Austin Mini that I’m planning to make a trailer for behind a mini, it was a factory option.

Well, and what’s wrong with that? I mean, well you had no trunk space, so you had to have the trailer. Yeah, I mean it. There’s a lot, there’s a lot worse things they could have done. But look how, no, there’s not worse things that could have been done. This is like that chest that they used to sell decades ago, like the front end of a car, and you put it in front of your bed and like it opened and it was like a, a chest to store things in, like that’s the same thing, except if you drag it behind your car.

The, the biggest disappointment with the prowler was the fact that it was a six-cylinder automatic look at, look at my prowler. It has this furious 2.7 meter v. What they should have done is stuck a bigger motor in the crossfire and called it Dunn because the crossfire wasn’t bad looking, especially compared to the Prowler.

What other motor should they have put in the, in the crossfire it had a [00:06:00] 3.2 liter Mercedes six-cylinder. It was a great engine. Okay. That’s right. That was after the merger. The problem was they made the crossfire end up looking like the, the Lincoln Blackwood with all those stupid stripes and ribs and Oh, ge.

So yeah, the blackwood . That always makes my, my list of hideous things, but I always forget about it because I tried to forget about it. pin, stripe paint job. I mean, can you imagine that that wasn’t a paint job. That was chrome piping on the side of the bed. God, all the way around the bed. But it stopped at the bed so it, it broke up.

Once it got to the doors. I if memory serves, it actually had barn doors for the bed, for the tailgate doors. I think that’s correct. Yeah. I mean, it’s a terrible idea. So not only that, but it had a carpeted bed. Yes. Oh it was, it was a giant trunk. The concept of the crower was great. Unfortunately, just like the ssr, it was pointless.

You want a hot rod? Build a hot rod. Don’t buy it. Don’t buy a brand new car. The side view of the prowler, does anyone, is it remind anyone of the [00:07:00] panther? Deville. ? I’m trying to remember what it looks, well, think of Carla De Bill’s car. Oh, cor. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I see the prowler from the side, I think of that car , but like a more modern version.

A, a concepty modern version. I don’t know why, because that was kind of the era they were harkening back to. So it’s gone to look kind of like that. I just don’t like how the prowler like went to a nose, went to a point, and then had just those tiny little plastic things that stuck out to the side for the, the reflect.

You guys talked about the prowler, but do you know about the Ford Indigo, which resembles Jordy Laforge? It’s the Forge indigo. The Forge Indigo, exactly. What do you, what do you guys think about that? Talking about ugly cars? It looks like something that should be on Mario part. It’s smiling. Yeah, I can see Bowser sitting in it.

It, it seriously looks like a go-kart. Now, for those that don’t know, Ford [00:08:00] designed this alongside of the GT 90, which I’ll let you guys look up on your own, because I happen to like that car as a prototype. It was the mid-stage, the GT 90 looks like Epcot Center. I looked. The GT 90 looks like the Nintendo 64 rendering of a gt.

That’s a very good description. I like that. Yeah, GD 90, unfortunately it’s so ugly. It’s awesome. Along with like the Bugatti E B one 10, but those don’t make my list of ugly cars. The indigo is definitely up there. That weird Cyclops front light and smiley face, as Mike pointed out, it’s pretty heinous, but along with it, we got to enjoy the prowler, which probably should have stayed in concept form.

Next up, we got the Bulldogs TT first gen, terrible looking cars, , especially with the Dodge Challenger spoiler. Oh, that actually enhances the ugliness. , right? You guys think the TT is ugly. Audi decided, you know what? We’re gonna make an S U V. We’re gonna make the Steppenwolf, and we’re gonna build a prototype race [00:09:00] car on top of the Avis chassis, which later became Leonardo and a bunch of other.

And we’re just gonna take all the tee tee’s, body panels and stretch ’em in every direction we can. It looks like some TT and just put on a four drive chassis. So that’s just a T tee sitting on a damn Suzuki sidekick, you know, four drive chassis. But the far right one looks like they were trying to reach back to like the era of like the thirties with the Yes.

It’s supposed to be like the Silver Arrows. Yeah. Okay. Hang on. The Rosen Meyer is a bugati. Verron now and the A two looks like something BMW released, which was like the one series van. Correct. But Mike, the Rose Myer is actually built on the Avis prototype, which came out years earlier, which all of those cars are built on the Bernard.

Yeah, but I’m saying, I’m saying it looks like what they, they, it looks like they took that and said this will be the Varon. Correct. Correct. It’s much longer than the Veran, unfortunately. It’s a very, very long car. But yeah, you’re correct. So I equate the Bulldogs is what I call ’em cuz they all look like little French bulldogs.

Right. Which the TT does [00:10:00] as well. I’m not, I’m not, I’m I’m not saying that the TT is the most attractive car in the world cuz it isn’t and it, we call the terrible towed for a reason. But I equate all these to Adam Driver, like he’s not a handsome actor and yet we cast him to play Kylo Ren and he is been girl in girls in a bunch of other movies.

So he’s, it’s like one of those Hollywood. That’s famous because they’re ugly. Right? So these cars fall in the, you should put Steve on the screen. We’re getting so, so, so you’re saying all of these are a very bad idea? Uh, a hundred percent, yes. So moving on from the Bulldogs, negative a thousand points to Ferrari for developing the munt.

This is the ugliest Ferrari ever. And there are some ugly Ferrari and there’s some extremely beautiful Ferrari, but this takes the cake as the dumbest idea they ever came up with, which is, let’s take a 3 0 8 and turn it into a convertible. , the proportioning I see on that reminds me of like the 1980s Barbie car convertible.

Cause it’s not proportioned to [00:11:00] real car. No. I had one of those

so, uh, uh, it was better looking than this

I mean, it’s ugly, but it’s not, something about this doesn’t say scream at me. This is an ugly car. It just, it just screams at me. They didn’t fix the, the proportions. Right. But it’s not an unattractive car at its heart until you see one in person. But I will say the only redeeming value of the Mundel LT is that it was featured in the John Hughes film.

Weird Science, just like the Mundi L. Turd man is also in that movie. So I put the two of them mentally together. Turd man. And the Monti, go ahead. Just cause it made it onto the silver screen. Doesn’t No, it’s a terrible car. Plenty of shit been on the silver screen. My biggest issue is the side vents. The proportions are a little off, but the side vents really look off.

And that’s because you’re [00:12:00] expecting tetra rosa down at the bottom of the door, not at the top. And you’re expecting them to be taller. So that’s the thing that sticks out to me as the oddest and, and of course the convertible top stuff. But they’re also functional because the motor is still back there.

Right. So you have zero trunk space. It’s a completely useless car. It’s a bad idea. It, you’re right, it looks in Ferrari. Does it have a shrunk? Uh, yeah. Well then it’s not, you know, totally useless. Well, I guess it’s a, you could, you could carry your purse. You’re not carrying it anywhere cuz the car won’t.

And I think the T stands for turd in alt. That’s why I also make the association with Turd Man, cuz nobody knows what the T is for, but the ALT anyway, from this special piece of Italian history into more Italian history. So you know how, you know how L for love? Well, L in the Italian car badging system is Luo, which means luxury, right?

Sofa, AMA. Unfortunately, they also have a history of designing [00:13:00] some very exquisite vehicles, right? And then we have these three gems here we have the GTV six spider, which is heinous. If you’ve ever seen the back of it. It, it looks like it was in a train wreck. Shara, which in dialect means mist. And then you have the winner of all winners here, the Ana Luso edition, which in my opinion, You know, the Corolla and the parable into itself, whatever.

But Alpha found a way to make that car even worse. He’s with that, I owned an 82 Corolla . So, so the ar reminds me of the Omni both. Yeah. The Omni and the Datson hatchback that my, my dad had when I was a kid. A two 10, oh God, I don’t even know what it was. Oh, looks like a two 10. So if we’re gonna go with like eighties type cars, like the Dodge Omni, I like the Omni.

It was the, it was the, could you get a Turbo four cylinder in the Omni that, that you should be slapped for saying that it, it had a [00:14:00] Volkswagen motor in it. And that’s a good thing. Room damn way. My cousin had one and that thing was the biggest heap of shit we ever. But we didn’t have to ride the bus to school, so we rode in it.

That’s the thing. Yes, I know. I know the, the house is falling apart, but it has a good furnace.

Has anybody ever, did anybody ever drive the J l H S? No. I know you have, right? Yeah. It’s still a horrible car. , they tripled the horsepower even in a hundred miles an hour. It’s a horrible. The best was that it had the, uh, the 4 46 pack hood on it. So as you go down the road at 60 miles an hour, you watch the hood going, trying to wait for it to open.

They call that the shaker hood. The shaker hood. Yeah. It’ll shake it All right. But the thing, the pro, the thing with the Omni is again, like a rabbit. If you’re not a fan of an original rabbit, if you’re not a fan of the panda or any of those, Bo really boxy hatchbacks or the renos or whatever. Yes, it is.

It’s, it’s still in that [00:15:00] category. I don’t know that it’s truly ugly. I mean, you guys are putting out some softballs. Okay, I’m looking. Oh, it’s, it’s ugly. I don’t know. I still like that Shelby Omni. I’m sorry. It looks good and black. Well, the Shelby Omni cuz it’s ugly. It’s, it’s, again, it’s one of those cars that’s so ugly.

You have to either, so it’s so ugly. You love it. , there’s a guy that runs one on the road horse stuff that has an Omni and I don’t know, maybe it’s just the cra, the bright color paint job and stuff he has on it. But it actually looks kind of cool. , a stock Omni. It looks horrible. The cigar looks like somebody had a sports car and said, Hey, let’s take it, chop it in half and stretch it.

So it reminds, take a hoover on the front, a comparative car from an automaker that makes some of the most beautiful cars in the world, Lamborghini. But this car, I think it follows the same kind of like this root, and it’s the, the, it’s, it’s another one that’s blisteringly fast and is probably like an amazing car to drive.

But looks wise, it just looks like some kindergartner [00:16:00] took his pro tractor and it just drew a whole bunch of triangles and stuff. And he like, here, mommy, here’s my car. The the computer said that that’s a good looking car. That’s what that boils down to. But that’s not the first time Lamborghini has made an ugly Lamborghini because if you look at the gala, the thing was Hein.

Right. It was ugly, just, just disgusting looking Lamborghini, in my opinion. Yeah. Um, not to say that some of the older ones, the, the designs that led up to the kuta, like the JPA and all those, those weren’t great looking either, because, and, and everybody was doing wedge cars back then between the Esri Alpha male.

Everybody was like, oh, here’s one shape. They’re all the same. So that, that’s, you know, that, that’s pretty much par for the course. Right. So what you, what we don’t know here is, and I’ll fill in, so Juro famous Italian designer design. He’s designed many cars from the rabbit all the way up to the Nasca, BMWs to all sorts of prototypes.

He’s, he’s involved with Delara and a lot of other companies. Famous Italian designer, some really iconic cars. So during this car, did he have like some sort of partying, [00:17:00] drinking drug? Yeah, cuz his son designed it instead. Okay. Right. So the one thing I, when I look at the cigar a, I see the Lamborghini that Brad was talking about, like I can see where that came from because this is much older.

But I also see the classic Italian harlequin design where you draw the black makeup through the eyes. It’s a very, it’s a very Milan thing, so I get the face, but it is a face that you really have to. It’s pretty terrible. How old was the son that designed it? . I have to look that up. 12. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Okay, so moving on. Brad Alpha Romeo, s c, and I will talk about the car. You know, I did a search for ugliest cars of all time and there were some, some commonalities between all the articles. This was one of them. Yep. . I’m gonna, I’m gonna, so this, this is, this is the one car? This is, I don’t hate it. Okay. I hate the back.

I hate the back. [00:18:00] You must also like whatever BMW it is that looks like that from the front. Cause that one’s hot trash too. I mean, the only, the only people who missed the eight 50 AF when it went outta production we’re hairdressers. That’s, that’s the front N B M W, that that alpha reminds me of both hot trash.

So I will admit to liking the eight 50 just cuz it’s a massive coop. Yeah. Yeah, but it, considering what it replaced, it was a huge disappointment. So I gotta say, I got a chance to see one of these in person in Italy. I was out with my uncle one night and we went to some car show that they were doing or whatever, and I got to see it.

and I thought this car as a kid, it was interesting. Right? I don’t like the body line that moved the fender to the back. I, I, yes, but here’s looks like it was in an accident. . No, but here’s the problem. When you see it in person, okay. You realize in your mouth No, no. What you realize is it doesn’t photograph well [00:19:00] because it’s very low and very squat.

Mm-hmm. , it looks like a tall car, but it’s not. It’s about the height of an A two Chico. It’s really, really short carrado. Right? I will have to take your word for it. Trust me, it’s, it’s alpha’s version of the carrado. It’s just way uglier than the carrado. But because it’s ugly and cause it’s funky and it’s, it is about the same size as a carrado.

And it’s rear wheel drive. It’s got the classic alpha V6 in it. It sounds amazing. Drive really cool car. It’s a, and I’m gonna talk about this in, in a little bit too. It it’s a neat car. It’s, it’s different. Again, they’re stepping out of their box. They want, it’s something to compete with the Carrado, Chico kind of era of cars there.

And Alpha was experimenting. But again, when you see it in person, it looks way better and it’s way more impressive than it does in picture to me. So had you had, you had like two bottles of wine and five pounds of pasta before you saw this. So you’re in a carbo, a carb wine crash [00:20:00] after you saw, to me, to me it looks like, it looks exactly like a Lego brick with wheels on it.

That’s exactly what it looks like. It’s a Lego brick. I mean it, I mean, it looks like hot trash in a photo, so I can’t speak to what it might or might not look like in person, but in a photograph, this thing is a. I don’t, I’m just saying you’re getting, well, I’m trying to say it’s good looking. You see this picture, it’s really just weird looking.

I, I can’t even descri I can’t describe it. Yeah, it’s, I look at it and I see multiple different cars trying to be made into one and it’s like, yeah, I, I, they, they don’t gel together. Reminds me of that Subaru again. One picture of the back that looks like a crx. Correct. It’s really odd. Again, it looks very different when you see it in person cuz you realize like those rear fenders, that photograph weird, it’s flared out so it doesn’t photograph and they only came in this color so red doesn’t photograph well.

And the one thing about red you guys don’t realize [00:21:00] is, or maybe you know this, Mike knows this is red throws off your depth percept. So it’s hard to judge what it actually looks like. That’s why if you play on a red pool table, it’s it 10 times more difficult than playing on a regular green one. Like, have you’ve ever done that?

Red just throws your eyes off. So again, when you see it in person, you’re like, dude, this car is kind of slick because again, it’s low, it’s wide, it’s short, you know, the whole thing. I can see the flaring in the picture, the, the other angles. I could see it, and I don’t mind the way the flaring looks, but it’s just, there’s something, there’s something that just, it’s off.

Yeah. Yeah. But it was hit with a cricket battle on the back. Yeah. Shortened it two feet. I, I think I’m with Eric. I, I think it’s, it’s an interesting car. I would actually, I’m gonna reserve judgment until I actually get the chance to see one in person, which will probably happen never. But I, I’m reserving judgment on this one.

Can an easy way out, Brad. I mean, you, you dude, you owned a carrado. The back end of the carras not there. It’s, [00:22:00] it’s chopped flat on the back. It’s the same idea. Yeah. But looking at that, the way that tail and everything sits up, I guarantee you can’t see shit out that back. Oh, probably not. But that doesn’t matter because you look cool as hell and everybody goes, wow.

But I will say this, I don’t know the, the back of the carrado doesn’t look like hot trash burning. Wow. And it’s like, wow, what the hell was that guy think? Exactly. Exactly. He likes it cuz he thinks it’s a sideline in the back. Yes, it does. I do. A hundred percent. But did you guys know you can take the SZ to the next level and go with the cab?

Right. . That’s amazing. That’s funny there with the Cause how short the roof is. That looks like a body kit. One of geometric convertible. Yeah, I mean the roof, the roof line or the windows are tiny. Yeah. So that takes it to a whole nother level of ugly. So when, again, when I look at the S z, I don’t think it’s terrible, but the convertible version, holy cow.

Like I said, so, so, I mean, if you’ve ever seen the convertible [00:23:00] version, yes. I can now understand why you thought the SC looked okay. Cuz you’ve seen this and you can’t forget this . Right. And so now, so now this is the, this is like looking at the seaming pile of shit and the sz is just like the cold pile, eh, that’s just, you know, poorly cooked ground beef.

Right, right. We’re gonna. It’s really, it starts to grow on you after a while. And then you see, so does fungus. The fungus grows on you too. The hard top version where the dark top and the red bottom, especially in that right picture reminds me of like the talons, how they had the dark top and then the green, bottom bottom.

The eclipses, it’s, it’s ugly. It’s ugly from the front. The, the headlights, the, the, the, the hood, the, this weird nose that it looks like it has cuz they ridged the headlight down to the, the center triangle grill. Those headlights are garbage. The side, especially from the back, it looks like it was in an accident that somebody in a big, huge pickup truck just [00:24:00] t-boned it.

In the quarter panel, the, the rear lights w fine. It’s a single bar. But then, then, then, and then, then there’s this, you know, eight foot of, of trunk lid, you know, and then this weird wing or whatever has a highbrow high brow. Neanderthal. I mean, I just picked up something on this picture, the right picture there.

That stands out to me. Now I understand why Eric doesn’t mind it, because the hood line there is very similar to that on a Viper. Yeah, that makes sense. You being a Viper fanboy. Now I see it. Next . All right, so up next dad ass. These are some of the worst rear ends that I could find, and the Arna makes the list yet again because that car is terrible from every angle.

You look at the Marlon, I don’t understand how they designed that car. If you want to talk about 11 million feet of rear end, [00:25:00] the Marlon takes the cake and it’s all one contiguous piece. I don’t even know how they developed that glass and the glass retracts into the back. I mean, it’s terrible, but the server.

Looks like an ogre. And when you, and I have to take it from this angle because it’s the only flattering angle of the car, it literally has tusks coming out the back. It’s like you could sit on that and have lunch, but the Exactly, it’s functional going to say, I, I really like Thes. I’m a huge TVR fan though.

And only look at the line body, line down the right. It’s a viper again, . But yeah, I mean, the sera is the, is the sticking your jaw way out and putting your, your, your clothes, your air. But it, it, uh, it, it’s functional. Just like, you know, a spoiler makes a nice, uh, picnic table. That’s not how they came.

That’s just a body kit. Did it have function to get it down for us? No. No. That is a factory build for that car that is not a body kit that came from [00:26:00] TVR that way. I, I think it’s the server of speed. 12 or something like that. Yeah, it’s terrible. I’m sorry. That’s pretty ugly. I still see your biker . All right, next.

Soviet block cars, right? These are the Clint Howard of vehicles, dude, they don’t get uglier than the Fiat 1 28 or, I love, I love the Clint Howard forehead and the Scion HaCo forehead , right? Uh, so I’m saying, man, like there’s a whole, the lot of the freaking treant, like there’s a bunch of other Fiats. The 1 27, the 1 31 really?

And it’s plain farm. There’re, there’s East German, you know, Soviet just bricks on wheels you wanna talk about. I’m gonna throw it out there. I like it, but many people don’t. The Hillman emp, I like it. Oh my god, the amp is it? It is butt ugly. . The Hillman super amp is awesome. It is butt ugly. That’s another multiple roof line there,[00:27:00]

I like that. I don’t know why. I like the roof height as someone who’s tall. So I’m okay with this . So you, you say you like the roof height, but you have to realize that’s probably like a foot tall total. So , everything looks tight because of your left shoe. I mean, come on. And it has the uh, yeah, I don’t really bad.

When you look at a car like the HaCo there and you go, is the multi plug better looking than that? Right? But it’s still not, it’s still not, it’s still not. But I had to stop and think about it. the thing, the angle of that HaCo picture makes it look, click. The windshield is slanted in reverse. Yes. It makes it look like it comes out from the base of the windshield and then goes back again.

Yes. But again, again, again, the you, there’s, these are ugly cars. Wind, neander, brow. Anybody use trendsetter in fashion in the Soviet in the same sentence? A hundred percent. No. But you wanna talk ugly. I mean that you’re [00:28:00] talk that’s ugly. Straight up. Right? And the lada, the turbans, all they’re based like the Lata especially, and, and some of the other Russian carts, they’re based on terrible fiats, right?

So it’s like, oh my god, talk about ugly. So anyway, moving on from that. Well, no, so, so the Scion HaCo is how the Japanese thought a Russian looks in a sweatsuit

It’s missing the Adidas stripes down the side and the gold chain, but, but still, I just like the fact that Brad picked up on the resemblance from the HaCo to Clint Howard, though. Oh my god, it’s totally his forehead , right. The French, oh my God. The French. I mean, you want to talk about quintessentially ugly vehicles.

The French take the cake and one of my absolute top of the list French terrible cars is the ami, which means friend . So the first generation, which is the middle picture and the right picture, I mean from every angle. This [00:29:00] car is terrible, especially from the front. When you look at it, it has a face. And obviously the people at CI one were like, I wanna see how complicated I can make the hood.

It’s bad, straight up, bad period bad. And then they decided we’re gonna make the army generation two. Which, you know, by all means, it’s very plain, very kind of, you know, uh, utilitarian. But it is still a very ugly car. It’s very seventies. The original looks like a bug. This is what happens when you put any fr This is what happens when you put any freezing in the wine to prematurely age.

It

So I’ve never understood why so many of these cars look like a dog dragging their ass against a carpet, right? Because the as hand squats on, I’ve never understood why they designed them like that. And it’s like, there’s no explanation for it. It just is. It exists, it’s it, it exists. Therefore it is, it’s, it’s like surrealism, right?

You’re just like, you look at it and go, ah, it’s French, it’s okay. It’s three [00:30:00] bottles in. That’s what it is. Have the hydromatic suspension. Yeah, it’s like the, like the cevo. Correct? Yeah. Or no, the ones that you know, would raise up and down the pneumatic. Moving on from the army, we go to the goddess herself, the ci ds.

This car literally angers me. I’ve seen too many. I hate this thing. It is terrible. Everybody says it’s one of the most gorgeous cars ever produced. I think it is one of the most heinous vehicles. It looks like a pill, bug, potato, bug, water, bug, whatever you call them. It’s fu from every angle. It never got better.

It only got worse. Whoa. And it built it for like a hundred years. There’s no, it doesn’t anger me. There’s no way. This is one of the most gorgeous cars in the world. No way. It’s not gorgeous, but it’s not, I see it as the, you know, it, it’s a plain Jane car. It’s not an ugly car. It’s not an attractive car.

It’s just [00:31:00] a car. It’s like, no, no. The Camry of the time, That fiat, whatever was just a car. This is ugly . This is terrible. I mean, it, it, it looks like trying to capture that teardrop shape before they understood aerodynamics. I mean, I can sort of, the upper right picture, it’s like, okay, I squint a little bit and blink really fast at the same time and I see a sob profile.

I don’t know, Matt, what, how do you feel about the ds? I’m sure you don’t. Matt has left the building. That’s how he feels about it. He hated it so much. He got left. Listen to you guys. No, those are, they were hitting you. Santa Senator. They’re hide hideous. Now the kicker is that the CI on SM is so similar.

That’s true. And yet we like the SM because it had a Maserati engine in it. So maybe that’s a case of where it’s so ugly. It looks good. Let’s realize something. The Citron, you were just showing [00:32:00] the Ds. Yeah. Which Dr. Seuss had those cars in it. . Really? I don’t remember that. I, I’m telling you, one of the Dr.

Seuss movies had them cars running around in town. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m just trying to think which one it was. If you look up the Dia or the Ds, not the Diane. The Diane came later. If you look up the Ds, there’s lots of articles that are like, oh, one of the prettiest French cars and one of the gorgeous cars of all time all.

And I just do not see it. I hate this. And what made me mad, what I, I don’t know why I have an association, but if you ever watched the original Highlander, . Adrian Paul drove one of these after he got rid of his Thunderbird because they moved back to France or whatever. And so for whatever reason, when I saw him driving this, it just, I, it just lit a fire inside me and I hate this thing.

To me, this car epitomizes what it means to be French cuz it exudes a certain arrogance when you have no [00:33:00] reason to actually be arrogant. Well, and, and, and you, you said it yourself, you said articles. Describe it as the prettiest French car. That’ss not saying much. Bingo. So, although the Reno McGahn and the Reno Cleo are actually really good looking cars to me, I will give you that.

Some of the generations. Yeah. But it’s like, you know, it’s, there’s not much you can say it. The prettiest French car. Okay. You know, it’s the best toilet wine.

It’s the best hooch you can buy. The DS gets my blood pressure up, but we’ll move on from that and we’ll talk about cars that look like Phish and there’s a lot of them. So as you can see on the screen, we have a Stutz Bearcat, we have a car that I can’t pronounce the name, and we have the two t t e along with the Marcos Mantis, which is a British car.

And these are pretty terrible. Real quick, did you by any chance put [00:34:00] in this PowerPoint? The will I am car. Because that car is fucking atrocious too. I did, I did not. I did. You’ll have to pull that up. We will. We’ll go back to that. But these cars to me all look like fish. So, so the, the Mitsuwa Ork, yes.

Actually is a good looking car except for the front bumper. No, it’s not. No, there’s no way that it hass outta Power Rangers. I mean, it looks like it’s smirking at me. So I mean, like if you get rid of the headlights in the front bumper, the rest of the lines are actually very sports car. But the problem is you can’t get past looking at the front bumper.

No, it’s not good looking at all. It kind of looks like a Jaguar HK two 20 f I can’t get past the fact that this thing needs to be filet and put into a rice roll and served to me with some spicy yum yu sauce. I mean, it, it looks like something I would pull out at the sushi bar. Now the Bearcat is god awful, but [00:35:00] Pontiac Pontiac should be embarrassed.

Well, it wasn’t technically a Pontiac. Yeah, it’s a Pontiac base. It was built on a G Body platform, but it also had a tie-in designing in it. The worst thing is like they had multiple different variations of powertrains and stuff. Well, that, that in the, uh, what was the Excalibur? You remember? You remember the Excalibur that looks.

Kind of like the thirties car, but not right. I, I think, I think Dan should take his, his Bonneville and you should give it the Bearcat treatment. I have to slap you. It’s not Grand Prix. Oh, your Grand Prix, whatever. I actually had a G Body car when I was in high school. And Jesus, to know that that was built on a G body, that depresses me.

Cause I had a countless supreme coop g. Is that on this list? It should be. I I actually liked that cut. So, you know, that was the weird cut list that had the like grills that were on springs. So like if you hit something the, the grill would spring into the car but the rest of the bumper didn’t. So it’s pointless.

That car, that Stutz Bearcat is [00:36:00] offends me deeply. Yeah. Right. Thing back in the eighties when they were making them, I think if I recall correctly, they were starting out at around like $85,000. I wouldn’t give you 85 cents for that date. , I’m saying that wasn’t the model, but like I know Elvis Presley had one.

I bet you can see really well at night with those headlights that are bigger than my head. Yeah, the, and to Tanya’s point earlier, that car just screams Disney villain. Yes it does. Yes. Yes. The problem with those headlights is you had to fill them with whale oil and then ignite them in order for them to work.

No, other than Disney villain, it’s screamed 1970s pounds. . So yeah, I had an eighties G body, not a, not a seventies. Now I will say the mr. MR two t. T looks like a dust buster with a nose. , right. For some reason I see that, and I don’t know if it handles with them, but I’d like to take it on track. I would drive the heck out of that car.

But it, look, look at the door. It it, to me, it reminds me of an aerial Adam, but the door is, I see where the center [00:37:00] got the door idea from. Yeah. So, I mean, and the fact that I wouldn’t Montana on track is the fact that it’s so ugly. I wouldn’t mind putting it on a wall. But here’s the thing, here’s the thing though that MR two, if you drove down the road and that MR two, and you were talking about the alpha and how people would be laughing at you, dude, I wouldn’t be caught dead driving down the road at the track.

I’d drive that going down the road. No way. At least the alpha people go, what the hell is that? This, they would physically either vomit or laugh to the point of crying. Well, they don’t. Nobody knows what it is. E M R Q S is a great car because it handled really well, but it was just, the styling was confused.

Terrible. Well, and there, and there’s no storage space at all. I, I looked at one once at a, at a dealership and, um, you, you could not pack for a nudist weekend. Not only that, they were the first to offer a mantic transmission, you know, a a, a paddle shifter. And you know why it didn’t sell? Because it did not have an automatic mode.

Oh, wow. So a lot of people blew their engines up. Yeah, a hundred [00:38:00] percent stuck in first gear. No, they, well, they, they didn’t buy cuz it was too fucking small. I mean, it’s a waste of waste of money. So then we have this piece of excellent French engineering and you all were talking about how the interior has to be better than the exterior.

Well this is literally called the Karen. And when I saw this I was like, somebody call the manager cuz this is an ugly, ugly car, but leave it to the French to take it to the next level. I think I saw this in total recall. That’s 1980 sci-fi right there. That’s what they thought we’d be driving now. I mean, yes.

Well actually that middle picture, it’s very cyber trucky. Just take the headlights away. Nothing sucks like Electrolux.

I just like the fact that the interior shot was taken by opening the lift back. And then you see that like cyclops camera that poses as, I don’t know, a rear view mirror or [00:39:00] something. The proportions are, it’s mental. You sit in the middle. I was gonna say, did you sit in the middle? Yeah. You sat in the middle, like you can see from the upper picture and then the people sat behind you like on a couch, right?

I mean, and it’s a moving pyramid. Which, uh, Ferrari did that or was it a McLaren? The McLaren original. F1. Yeah, the f1. So you had the, the single center seat and the two backseats. Oh, this is just, I mean, this is pretty bad. You wanna talk about ugly? This is right up there. I’m just dreading the headroom for the people in the back because the slope of that going into a point.

You go run a turn and they’re gonna be banging their heads against the window. . It’s designed for, it’s designed it, it is. Oh my. There’s a picture. The 1980 Karen. Front three quarter view with the cyber truck underneath at 2020, they’re, they’re, they’re freaking siblings. And I will say it probably has more rear headroom than a tt.

I’ll, I’ll say that to Daniel’s point. You know, the passengers, if you driving one of these, you don’t have to worry about that cuz you don’t have any passengers with you. You have no friends. If [00:40:00] you have no friends, your friend is Karen. Well you gotta pick up some and she doesn’t even like you. Oh man, this is, oh, anyway, now, now is it a rear motor or a front motor?

Because you can’t really tell from those pictures. Electric, I mean, it is an Electrolux, but you know, , , uh, I can’t tell you which way stuff opens. Like, I can’t tell from up or down on this thing. It’s, it’s, it’s fueled by the discounts you get by calling the manager. It actually has red headlights and white taillights.

You just could, you know, the pictures are backwards. I mean, it’s like that Reno I posted the other day, the project 900, which you can’t tell if it’s coming or going. It’s got two front ends and the motors somewhere in there. It makes no sense. But th when I saw this, I was like, you gotta be kidding me. I do wanna bring up one, because I have a feeling it’s gonna come up.

You should bring up a lot, Mike. This is a flowing conversation. All right, let’s go. But I think someone on this call has expressed some affection for this vehicle in the [00:41:00] past. It is the Fiat multiple. Well, was that the one that had the headlights that were like Ila? There were. wind. There was some were windshield level as well.

Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. I don’t think anyone has ever expressed a like of that car . It is. I mean, it is amazing. . It is the flit thing. I mean that What an embarrassment. Fiat. Really. All right. I’m gonna throw it out there because first time I saw one was just, I, I didn’t know what to think of it. When I was stationed over in England, the girl that I was talking to went out to meet her one night and she showed up in that thing.

And I’m like, what is this? It looks like the car from demolition Man. It reminds me of that . Yeah, it’s, and the weird thing is sitting inside of it, like see if you can get an interior shot of like the dash and everything. Cause felt so weird to me. Here’s the worst part is there was not bad. Here’s the worst part though.

The second row picture don’t go yet. The orange one, there was a [00:42:00] version that was still ugly, but it didn’t look as hot trash. Why? They decided to, to lift. the windshield and add those lights there. I mean, it was already not great, but at least you were like, okay, it’s some sort of weird van thing they’re trying to do with more windows.

Oh, that looks like a Volkswagen Polo that hit a wall. Then the, and then they came up with this. They thought this was the next step. I mean, or this was first, I guess maybe the other one is the one that came after. I mean, when you chopped the roof off of the previous multiply and put it on top of a neon, that’s what you end up with.

I mean, yes, they put one car. The other look, look at the third row Fiat. Wait, wait, , that’s hot. I think I know what happened on this one. Whoever did the design, they faxed it over to the people that were building it. It ran stuck and it, that’s why it lifted that section at the back of the hood. Oh, and that’s what they went with the picture to build.

Oh, I, I think they sent it over as a joke. And you’re like, haha, they’ll [00:43:00] never make this and we should just send it like this if you take, and then the next day it went into production. If you take this car here and you stick your hand and you, and you don’t look at the top part, that front end actually isn’t that bad.

That front end would actually look pretty cool if the rest of the car, the roof line was something that made sense. But the bottom half, it reminds me of the Civic Wago van. If you took out the little bump under the windshield, it reminds me of the Civic Wago van. The height of the windows is two 30, the total height of the car, it’s like a big old fish bowl on top.

But you, but you know, in comparison to the multiply, I found the car that was very similar to it that I’m gonna put up now.

what is that? It’s a Japanese French mixture. It is the Nissan S Cargo. Oh God, I remember that. That was really, that was really popular for a while. Look like a snail. Yeah, it literally looks like a snail. Holy cow. That thing is [00:44:00] terrible. What is up with that window? That’s like the, uh, that’s the Svx. The Svx, yeah.

The Subaru. Yeah. There was a Ford that had windows like that too, that were like the bottom half. The DeLorean had that as well. The, the, the toll booth windows. Yeah. It never understood why, but you know what, you know what still makes more sense than the cyber truck? I mean, if you look at but is more functional.

But will it’s windows take a ball bearing without shattering? Uh, probably. Probably, yes. . Yeah, exactly. So we, we love the multiplier, obviously, and every time I see the multiplier, especially in this color, I am reminded of the movie Life Aquatic with Bill Murray. I mean, I’m sorry. It is what it. Oh duper turd, but we’ve covered that in detail.

I love how this one has dents in the hood. , it missed the bumper that sticks out about six inches past the hood. That was because, but it still got dents in the hood. Get scared and punch at it. What was that one that they made? That was the Mercedes safety [00:45:00] car. Something, something 11. I can’t remember what the hell the, the net model was 11.

The C1 11 was a prototype mini engine sports car. Yeah, it’s, well, it was a safety car too, just like Volvo used to make. Now there’s three versions of the C one 11. The earliest ones are heinous. The, they have like a, A weird coup looking thing. Yeah, you love that picture. Last one on the second row there, Brad.

That has all three generations of the C one 11. So the very first one’s in the back. It’s terrible. The middle one? Yeah, the middle one’s not great. And the last one, they kind of finally got it right and it, they’re all terrible. They are all terrible. But if I was to choose one, I would choose the middle one.

The last one’s the front of a GT 40 and the back of a fi. But what they were trying to do outside of being a safety car, and from that angle it looks way better. They were trying to compete with the M one. So that was the idea behind that car. It’s a Goalwin. Mm-hmm. . It’s got a lot of weird at ease. I like it because it’s different in Mercedes with stepping out of the box.

It’s a mid engine sports car. There’s a [00:46:00] lot of things that are redeeming about it. Sometimes you shouldn’t step out of the box because Volvo made some safety car thing as well, and it was bad. All right. So from there, , we go to the Volvo Safety car, also known as the Ducktail Platypus. I mean, you wanna talk about ugly?

This thing is my number two pick for ugliest car ever. And we are getting close to number one, but I mean those bumpers front and rear, I mean, look at that, right? They’re diving boards. I I love the Opal Manta Black Hood though, to really give it that sporty effect. You know, I don’t mind the line. If you hold your hand and you block the whole front end and you take the, a pillar line all the way to the back of the trunk, excluding the bumper, I don’t even mind it.

I like, I would wanna see what the Volvo front end would look like on a car like that. It reminds me of a Mark two Jetta. From the back, but then the front, it looks like freaking some sort of Plymouth turd. I’m gonna throw out just a huge generalization. [00:47:00] All of their cars were ugly, but the the P 1800 is a good looking car.

They, they were known for being the safest cars probably cuz nobody wanted to drive them. . Yeah. Accident. That’s very true. Well, so I think that, I mean, I’m pretty sure this is based on an actual Volvo and they just added the safety bumpers to correct Eric? I believe so. Yeah. It’s our ear. There’s our, there are some early Volvos like this, however, the earlier Volvos of this era have a more, um, a more flat grill versus this is where they try, this is kind of the aiming of that cab forward design.

Cuz if you look at how the windshield is raked, how they rake the grill extended the bumper because it’s for pedestrian safety, right? So it’s to knock you at the knees and then flip you over the hood of the car. is it act, is it actually pedestrian safety or is it a. Better. Five, five mile per hour impact bumper that actually can absorb higher speeds.

From what I understand, it’s like all of the above. And again, that’s with the [00:48:00] sloped grill and everything. Um, because again, the Volvos of that era, they could have put this grill on those Volvos, but they were much more square. So, so I, I don’t see how this is for pedestrian safety in any way. , I think pedestrian safety when designing a car is a complete myth.

How about don’t get hit by a fucking car? Yes. Thank you. Every, every car you buy today is built for pedestrian safety. So, yeah, so, so to, to Matt’s point, and I can, I can argue why this would be for pedestrian safety is that it would kick them up onto the hood rather than under the car, right? Yes. And modern cars are designed that the hood actually has a gap between the hood and the motor, so that if the pedestrian gets thrown up onto the hood, there’s some crush zone to absorb the impact.

So, so I can understand where this is coming from, both from pedestrian safety and from a car crush safety. Um, you know, we should just adopt what they do in the, in the locomotive industry and just put cow catchers that kind of push the pedestrians away, screw all this other bullshit. [00:49:00] Flip ’em onto the hood.

No, no, no. Just push ’em out of the way, ’em up like a front loader. So a, having been hit by a car, I don’t care what you say for design of the front, it hurts like hell, hell. Other than that, I think their idea of pedestrian safety was a fact of the, the game of you, how many points you’re gonna hit. based off of what type of person you need to kill.

Oh, that’s like, uh, definitely. Yes. Yeah. So double, double points for roller bladers. Yeah, so it’s like, I think that was the concept here, because that thing’s sticking out. I think their idea was completely backwards in the fact that that’s sticking out there. That single point of force is gonna hit you at the knees or whatever and snap your knees.

Exactly, exactly. If that thing was maybe six inches lower and then it could scoop you up and then you slide up this angled front end, I could maybe buy it. But that right there that, that lops you off at the knees. be better to be alive. Alive without shins. Than dead. Well, yeah, [00:50:00] but all it’s gonna do is lop you at the knees and you’re just gonna go, what?

Right on the hood. You ain’t ever gonna get scooped up on the hood. Your face is gonna face plant into that grill. You’re gonna knock your brain out. Right on the hood, the bottom. I mean, we weren’t exactly smart in the seventies. I think it’s, I think it actually is designed to hit more pedestrians because it gives you less time to get out of the way cuz it sticks so far out in front of the car.

I just like the fact that if you notice in the first, the picture on the left, once you. , you know, if you’ve retained your knees and flipped up over the hood and you’re sliding across the windshield, you have a ridge along the bee pillar to grab so that you don’t fly off the back of the car. Did you guys notice that there’s a lip?

Nice. No, no, no. That’s not the catch. That’s like, you know, the, uh, vegetable slicers, , mandolin. That’s the, it takes a huge layer of skin off as you go off where there’s no road. You just straight me onto the asphalt once you hit the ground behind the clock. But the, here’s the thing, even more than the pedestrian safety, , [00:51:00] anybody who ever did drive this, I’m curious how many times they had to get out and write a note, put it on a car in front of them when they were parking because they went up and hit ’em cuz how far the damn bumper stuck out.

Oh, dude. And, and it’s, they, they do what the, what the 80 year old people do and they put the little flags at the end of the bumper on both sides. The bumper collapses. So when they start to hit something, maybe a light light’s up inside so that the bumper, they know the bumper hits something and starts to compress.

So according to the Volvo cars global newsroom. Okay, um, and I’ve skimmed this really quickly, but there’s one bullet point here. The extremely pronounced bumpers gave the car characteristic profile. They protected the body against panel damage in low speed impacts at up to 16 kilometers an hour. Yeah. So they’re better.

Five mile, mile per hour bumpers. They saving you as a pedestrian. Yeah. So all this talk about pedestrians is bunk because they don’t give a shit. Exactly. But I will say this, bear in mind, if you guys ever dealt with some [00:52:00] old European cars, you’ll realize that they, they were very, uh, simple in the fact that they were basically strapped like railroad ties to the front of ’em, right?

If you ever look at like an old rabbit, it’s like here’s a piece of metal that we bolted the front of the car. They were not light. So my question is, how heavy are these bumpers to be this large on both ends of the car? Cause you gotta remember the tail end is the same way. They’re huge, right? They gotta weigh 150 pounds a piece.

Look at the picture. There is no wheel well space. Yeah, right. That’s lower. Before the bumper was up, there was probably five inches of gap there. , they put the bumper on it, lowered it down that way. So . So I will say, I mean, American bumpers from the uh, eighties could withstand some, some decent impacts.

Because I might have been involved in some car tag, uh, with some friends, uh, in, in slow traffic. Yeah, but that’s guardrails to the front of those old cars. Bingo. So that’s back when we had five mile per hour bumpers that would actually not damaged the car compared to [00:53:00] nowadays, this is probably a better design because nowadays you, you have a slight fender bender and it’s $12,000 worth of damage cuz you need like five new bumper covers and three sensors and all that other stuff.

So, you know, in that regard, this is actually a good design. I like the fact that you can sit on this and have lunch. I mean, it’s, it’s very convenient. It’s multi-purpose. You can have a fucking picnic , you can go to a, a sporting event and sit there with the headlights on. So the headlights are shine out on the field and you just sit in between the lights on.

So, so what you’re saying is Tailgater, what you’re saying is this should be on an Italian car, so you have somewhere to sit when it’s broken down. A hundred percent. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I think you guys would agree up until this point, I have brought to light some very ugly cars. Way uglier than the Aztec and the hhr and the, but you’ve solid the poor name of the duck, bill Platypus.

Come on. True. But you can’t, you cannot deny it doesn’t look like one. I I, I will deny it looks like the platypus. Cause the platypus doesn’t have a deck hanging off its ass. [00:54:00] I mean, it’s got that big old tail back there. But they have a, they have a beaver tail. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they do. That’s a the beaver tail back there.

But there is a car that goes beyond all reason and understanding. It redefines the word ugly. Redefines the word ugly. Are you guys ready for this? Are you ready? Little drum roll.

1957, Aurora Safety car. This is the ugliest car ever built. I’ve noticed one key thing that is attributed to ugly safety, car safety, . So what do you guys think of this? And this gentleman is the proud owner and restorer the hell. Is it based on? I don’t remember off the top of of my head. There’s not a straight line on that thing.

Someone took a balloon, blew it up, squeezed it down, and covered it in plaster, and then called it a body. Apparently [00:55:00] is designed to scoop up pedestrians. Mm-hmm. , that’s a parade movie where you just have people sitting on it while you’re driving down the parade and they’re sitting there waving. I mean, can you imagine this guy, I mean he is, he’s crowded this car, this is car.

He goes out into his garage and he looks like, he goes, yeah, this is awesome. This company went out of business producing one of these prototypes. , no, I don’t believe that. Manufactured by a Catholic priest? Yes. So you said they were business making one. Is this the only one that exists and this guy’s the owner.

So there were pictures of, well, like, I guess I found him on the internet basically, where it was like rotting in a, like a yard or whatever. And they were pictures of them, like them with the bucks and stuff. But yeah, this guy owned, this is a pro, apparently a running production car. And this guy, this younger gentleman here, then, because they built this in 57, he doesn’t look like he was probably, he was probably born in 57.

Right. But again, I mean, this thing takes the [00:56:00] cake. Yeah, but I mean, it’s one of those where it, oh, there, I mean there, there has to be some, I’m, I’m trying to find some reasoning of what it. It literal. So what it has and to why, oh, here we go. So it does describe that, that front end is to scoop up pedestrians.

You’re still gonna, it’s taking you out at the ankle. There’s, oh, I, I know, I’m, I know, I’m agreeing. I agree a hundred percent. Also, that windshield is bing bulging out like that, so that if you were launched forward, you wouldn’t hit your head into the windshield. . Well, remember, those seat belts weren’t required yet.

Okay. 1957 glass was not shatterproof. So whoever you hit was coming through and you’re just, so, instead of shooting against the glass, you’re headbutting the person coming up on the hood. No, no, no. It’s not for the person outside the hood. It was for you shooting through the hood to give you more space, not to smack your face apparently.

And this did have seat belts. I, I get what you’re saying with that, Tanya. But what I’m saying is he goes forward and it’s domed out, so he doesn’t hit his head on the. [00:57:00] Yeah, because they didn’t use shatterproof glass. Then the person coming up over the hood is gonna come through the glass and it’s gonna be Oh sure.

Collision. Yes. Yes. It was built, it was a fiberglass prototype built on a 53 Buick chassis, partially funded by Father Alfred Julianos Parish. But it was planned to be available to be built on top of a Chrysler, Cadillac, or Lincoln engine built on the Buick chassis. Well, it said, uh, reverse angle windshield eliminates glare, prevents dust, rain, sleet, and snow from impairing visibility, automatic seat adjustments and telescoping steering column, eliminate driver restraining travel fatigue.

Rear trunk area is unencumbered by spare tire or other. Stealing accessories. Total area, 20 cubic feet. Uh, well here, here’s the good part. Built-in hydraulic jacks, operate through push button controls, provide safe [00:58:00] and easy tire changing, extra large shock resistant doors. Latches are flush. Upholstery is the newest spill proof miracle fiber fabric.

Oh, fucking vinyl

Oh my God. This, this is, it’s, it’s quite, um, astonishing. It’s the, uh, the new Jeep Wagoneers. If the interior was made of modern materials now it would be sham. Wow. Right? Yeah. Spill proof. Oh my God. It’s like the Cadillac cts. It’s pretty interesting. Oh, this, this gets even better reading, uh, the Wiki page.

It would’ve been priced just under the most costly card in the us. Yes. It would’ve only been $12,000. In 1957. Well, and remember that in America, safety does not sell. Ford tried that multiple times in the past as a, uh, [00:59:00] as a, as a marketing ploy. And people don’t buy cars to be safe. They may say they do, but they don’t.

Well, so nowadays they do. They buy big SUVs to be safe from all the people in little cars. They don’t care if they kill the people in the little cars, but you know they’re safe in their big suv. Well, yeah, I, I guess, yeah, I, I could see that. So there you have it folks out. There’s Car on the Planet, 1957, Aurora Safety Car.

I think we should still go around the horn and see what, what other people say. So that’s your number. , what about you? Crutch? Uh, you’re gonna have to come back to me. I’m, my, my, my think he’s a little slowed right now, Tanya. I mean, if I have to go off what was in that presentation Sure. No, go off. Whatever.

I mean, it doesn’t have to be in that presentation. Whatever you want. Personal opinion. I, there’s too many ugly cars to save. Just one. Yeah. No kidding. I think the Nissan Escargo or the, the, the, the multiplier. The multiplier is definitely a top three.[01:00:00]

That’s why it came before the duck bell. Platypus manam, multiply. Volvo Safety car. Okay. I mean, so duck bill Platypus, if you see ’em in person, are actually pretty cute. They’re very confused and very poisonous, but they’re actually really cute. Oh, I would also list that, uh, that Karen, that, that’s pretty bad.

That’s pretty bad. I mean, you’re gonna list the Yeah, yeah. If you’re gonna listen to Karen, you have to say the cyber truck. I mean cyber truck, I, I was gonna follow on with, and, and right next to it is the cyber truck, cuz those are cousins. And the, the Karen haircut too was pretty bad. . I, I will say I have a very visceral reaction to the PT Cruiser with the fake wood trim and the fake back tire on the back hatch.

That is like one of the worst thing for me to see and it just is painful to look at. So what you’re saying crutch is since you dislike that so much, the one that rides around [01:01:00] in Thurmont that I see regularly, I need to start taking pictures of and sending to you. Growing up we had the eighties square front priest wagons that had the fake wood paneling.

And even that, like the wood trim on that didn’t feel as painful to look at as the fake wood trim on the PT Cruiser. It just bothers me sticker on the outside of those cars, I think. I think the ultimate unicorn though would be a GT Cruiser convertible with the wood trim and a manual transmission. I mean, that is like the ultimate of the PT series cars to have.

Would you say, and by ultimate you mean you, you know, for someone who likes getting enemas every day,

Oh, that’s awesome. I think a follow up to the ugly cars should be ugly interiors. Oh God. I could go on days on that one. Don’t even get me stuck. The nineties Firebirds interior was atrocious. The cars went like stink, but the interior was like sitting inside a Walmart [01:02:00] the back of those Crown Vic cop cars.

I mean, lemme tell you. We’re, we’re talking about ugly, ugly cars, and I have to throw out the fact that looks are the main appeal, but functionality overrides looks any day of the week. And is that the excuse of the Aztec? There’s a lot of people that’ll say that when they’re buying a new car. I, I don’t care what it looks like on the outside.

I care more what it looks like on the inside, and I care about all the things that it comes with. Yeah, because I’ve heard some people say, well, when I’m driving it, I don’t see the outside of it. I see the inside of it. And that’s why they sell a lot of Toyota Camry. I mean, and don’t they try to teach children growing up?

It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside. The counts. And on that note, Brad, what do you think? Is it time to end? Yeah, I think we’re good.

If you like what you’ve heard and want to learn more about gtm, be sure to check us out on www.gt motorsports.org. You can also find us on Instagram at Grand Tour Motorsports. Also, [01:03:00] if you want to get involved or have suggestions for future shows, you can call or text at (202) 630-1770 or send us an email at crew chief gt motorsports.org.

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[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Gran Touring Motor Sports Podcast Break Fix, where we’re always fixing the break into something motor sports.

So, as you guys heard, we did a ugliest cars episode. So yeah, there were some cars that were too ugly even for their mama to love, and they got left out on the cutting room floor, unfortunately. But we also put together a BSides. So this is really a sidebar conversation as we’re sitting around drinking and getting prepared for the real episode.

A whole bunch of other cars fell out on the. And as always, I’m your host Brad. And I’m Eric. So let’s roll. We’re gonna talk about some ugly. Ugly cars. Ugly, ugly UGLi. Let’s get, let’s, let’s get it going. Who’s, who’s got some UGLi ass cars that they wanna talk about? Other than the obvious choices? I mean, we’ve got the H hr, the PT Cruiser, everybody Chevys here.

I’ll, I’ll kick us off by rolling. Let’s [00:01:00] see what I think is an ugly car, especially when it first came. I think the Mark five Jetta specifically, but the mark five golfs and GTIs and stuff too. They were terrible. They were ugly, ugly, ugly cars. When I, when it first came out, I thought I was looking at the new Corolla.

That’s how terrible I thought it was. I thought someone took a mark four. They put like an air pipe onto it and just blew a bunch of air into it and expanded it. I think they’re hideous. I will give you, the taillights look like a Corolla. I mean, it’s, it’s the David House drunk on the, on the floor of the Burger King trying to eat a cheeseburger.

That’s the mark five to me, the non g l i, there was way too much chrome on the front of that car. Yeah, yeah. That entire front grill was Chrome unless it was a G L I. Volkswagen. Spent too much time watching Paul Wall video. They had to get that Chrome Grill. R 32, well be Lil Wayne. It’s like all chrome up front.

it’s bad yet their commercials were un pimp. [00:02:00] What other ugly oddities do we wanna talk about before Eric pulls up his PowerPoint, A as a, you know, Toyota. Typical. Typical. We the Aston Martin Lagonda. Oh, come on. I like that. Okay. Okay. That’s one opinion. Yes. Oh, that looks like it was stepped. That is a horrible car.

I mean, they, they went to track auto and bought all of the Wagner square headlights they could find and just bolted ’em on the front of that thing. The dust part of that. That car was big, big, big dollars. The front end of that reminds me of a dust buster. Wait, does it have massive flip up headlights as well in addition to all those lights in the front grill?

Just in case you couldn’t see, but because there’s like two big trap drawers in the front of the hood. You know what other vehicles got something like that? The Jeep Cherokee, it’s got the little eye slit lights that aren’t actually headlights, and then it’s got headlights on top of that. Uh, so that, so our related one to that was on my list, which is the first gen Nissan ju [00:03:00] like, oh.

Like it had these little like weird slanted things that were the headlights. And then below that were fog lights. That looks like they should be the headlights. Yeah. Yeah. That was the one. Mike. It does have popup lights, so when it pop up there’s an additional total of four extra square lights. , there’s two on each side hidden the headlight.

It’s the family truck. But you know what’s funny, Mike, with the headlights up, tell me, it doesn’t look like a BMW eight. I see, I see the family truck store with all those headlights. Yeah, but that’s not necessarily anything good. You know the, oh, that thing. Oh, what is that? That looks like a Hearst version of that car.

Volvo and a lianda had a baby like that is horrendous. Is that actually a, it’s the Lagonda V 70 . It’s the Lagonda shooting break.

Oh, there isn’t enough. There is not enough Tannerite in the world to take care of that. That car is probably 35 feet long. God. [00:04:00] That’s the Inspector Gadget car, right? It does look like that. No, what did he drive? He drove the, uh, it was a Nissan, right? It was that weird Nissan that they made in the nineties, I thought, or the late eighties.

I thought. I think this is Mike’s next wagon. Oh my God. That is brutal. That I mean, got it. Yeah, it does. Remind me of the Inspector Gadget car. That reminds me of an El Camino with a cap.

That’s awesome. Here, you’re gonna love this one. You are gonna. This picture, I swear, hopefully it shows up. Oh, ooh. Hollow Oats. Poor Man Fi Ferrari. You gotta describe it for our listeners there, Brad. What do, what do we got here? We’ve got the Pontiac Firo Hollow Oats Edition. . She’s a rich girl. Hos aren’t rich girls apparently, cuz they’re driving Pontiac Piero and let’s not forget, tested as one of 1980 four’s best handling American cars.

Well that is not saying [00:05:00] much, you know, compared, compared to what else was for sale in 1984 from America. It is. And you know, the, the, the real shame of it is cause I read an article about those stupid things. What did, when did they discontinue with 1987 or 88? I think not soon enough. I think actually the best handling American car in 84.

Was probably a square body shipping,

You just made Dan the happiest person in the I know. I was looking to get a smile out of him. Here’s the thing about fi, I actually like them. I do too. And they can be modified to, to look really good. The body kits on them make ’em phenomenal. I’m not, you’re the ones that make ’em look like another car.

Yeah, they’re great talking about the Ferrari kits that you can get for ’em. I’m talking the actual, they had some, uh, ground effects. Yeah, they did. , they looked phenomenal on. And the two M six, the last ones, yeah, the last year, the 88, I think they were with them. They finally fixed all the problems that they had ’em.

Then the last year was a, it was a phenomenal problem. They also had those bbbs gold [00:06:00] bbbs, uh, basket weave wheels. I mean, they weren’t bad looking in the last year. They put the spoiler on ’em, the body kit from the factory. It was like raw. The, the real reason. Well, there’s two reasons why I added the fierro one, because I don’t fit.

Uh, so that it kind of makes me a little jealous. And two, I just wanted to share this picture. Classic hall notes right there. That’s pretty, pretty awesome. Well, the LA the last year of the, of Firo is when they finally got rid of the Chave hearing. Yes. When it, they, it was introduced too early and it was basically a Chevy Chavet, a mid engine Chevy Chavet, Hey, hey, hey, don’t with the X nine.

Yeah. You wanna talk about fucking there, there’s the Italian firo. It’s not that it’s ugly, it’s that it was just a fucking. The only thing, the only good thing about an X nine is you, you could be seen in it for a long time. I mean, that is, that is the downside of the X nine. Honestly, it’s a good looking car, but it is slow as dirt.

I mean, you could, you could floor it to pull away from the stop light and they’d still see you for 20 minutes. If you [00:07:00] handed me an X one nine, I’d be all over it. I’m okay with that. Now, I will say whatever, whatever ugly car you’re talking about, if you wanna make it uglier, throw some nineties Pontiac rims on it.

Look at, look at any of those eighties, nineties cars today, and you just, you can’t believe that people bought them, but that was what they had available. And you know what, Brad? I don’t like yellow cars, but the X one nine looks good. And yellow, I like this one. . If it has to be a cartoonist s rendering of a vehicle, you know it’s ugly.

What’s wrong with the x? It looks like a fierro God, but not near as cool. I mean, so does the 9 14 9 fourteen’s an ugly duckling too. That right there is what’s wrong with the X nine. That picture alone with the popup headlights, the way those popup headlights look on the front of the car, nine 14 looks identical.

If you pull up a picture of nine 14 in the pop with the headlights up, they’re the same. No, it has a, it has a bumper. It doesn’t end, it doesn’t terminate immediately. Well, there you go. You’re, you have a piece of crap in your, your garage then, cuz that looks like. [00:08:00] I don’t like the nine 14 with the headlights up.

I, I, that’s the only angle I don’t like. I like the nine 14 a lot. Actually, I like the nine 14 more than the X nine. , but, but those headlights have to be welded shut at this point. Just weld them shut and, and, and Brad to the fierro argument about being ugly, like, I can appreciate it because a, it’s mid engine and then everything else, but when you take that design and you kind of stretch it out and add these, like big prison doors on it and call it a Beretta, Then we have a problem

You also gotta give it that really powerful, different looking. You gotta give it that really powerful 3.4 liter V6 too. . So I’ll tell you this. Jess owned a Beretta in white with a bird. Oh, I’m sorry. With the 3.4 liter, right. I drove it doors. He must have been L built with out of lead and filled with.

Because they were, they were like bank vault doors. And so Jess used to always say that was like the ultimate like rapist car because when you got in it, it was very difficult to get [00:09:00] out. You were like trapped into Baretta. . Those doors were like so heavy. You, you park nose uphill and they can’t get the door.

Pretty, pretty much. Yeah. You were done. I’m drawing a complete blank. What is that? Uh, Pontiac car that azt. No, that’s a troll piece of crap as well. But no, I think it was a Pontiac It it was. It was like a Sunfire. Yes. The Cav, the Cavalier’s Pontiac cousin. I broke one of those on a rental. On a business trip.

Yes, that thing. Thank you. Drawing a blank. Well, the sunfire was to get women’s attention. They came in these weird pinks and shit like that, that it was for the purpose of getting women in, interested in them. , but the problem was they took the, they took the, the Camaro and they tried to shrink it cuz it had the same funky rear end and those wide.

And it just didn’t look right. I think all Pontiac Sunfire were owned by strippers [00:10:00] and they all smelled . They all, every single one came from the factory smelling like cigarette smoke . Well, you strawberry body gel. Yes. Here’s a big problem with any of the cars in the US because all of the big wigs in control of design stuff, when there’s a good idea, they shoot it down every time.

And the Pierro is a huge. Example of that cuz that car originally designed was supposed to be way better and the big was like, no, we don’t want to dump the money into that. So we’re gonna Then how did, then, how did the Aztec make it into production? The same reason the Ford l t d made it into production?

No, no. The Ford LT D say what you will about the Ford l t d, but it was just another big American car. . The Aztec looks like it got beat by the ugly stick and then someone broke it over his head. They went to all the focus groups and picked one thing out of each focus group that they, that they said they wanted.

Did they, were they everything else out? There was some redneck in the background and go, I [00:11:00] like them nostrils on the Firebird. I need that on my suv. I for the Aztec. I think the writers and directors from Breaking Bad, long before the story was written, went to General Motors and said, we’ve got a story.

We want to, we want to write and, and broadcast. We need a vehicle that says I’m a midlife crisis loser with no life, no soul. I’m going to die. And that is paradise to me. I need a car for that. So they, they already made that. It was called the Geome. Oh, no, you know, you know who bought the Aztec because if you look at, if you look at the packages, nobody, the Aztec, nobody bought the Aztec.

Well, I’ve seen exactly zero on the road. Well, general Motors, you know, they, you can lease a, uh, a General Motors product if you work for General Motors for, you know, for practically nothing. This is when I was working in Detroit, apparently quite a few of those middle managers had Aztecs [00:12:00] because there was nothing else on the roster.

In other words, you wanna, you wanna lease a uh, 60 a Pontiac 6,000 s t e. You have to have an Aztec, you, you want to get a Firebird, you have to have an Aztec, you want a Cadillac? You have to have an Aztec cuz they couldn’t sell them. Yeah, it was the same. It was the same reason why Ford corporate guys were driving two door explorer sports forever.

I couldn’t sell ’em. I just wanted to know what the Aztec is built on. Because if, if it anything, if it was built on a GM 360 chassis, like the Trailblazer and the Equinox and all those, it’d be one thing, but it’s kind of like, what the hell is it built on? It’s a piece of crap. I’m gonna speak in its defense for a minute.

Because the Aztec did have some cool options, like the camping aspect where they had the tent that came out the back. Yeah. Did you just use Cool and Aztec in the same sentence? Sadly, yes. It was. Well, if you, but did it have to be shaped like a juice box? Well, if you don’t look at it, it’s, it was a, it was wonderful, but So is the Porsche 9 [00:13:00] 28?

Yeah. I mean the, the, it had a lot of cool options, but it was not function. I mean, if you wanna go camping, where are you going with an Aztec? You’re going to the mall parking lot. You can’t go off road with it didn’t have road clearance, it didn’t have traction. So you’re going the same place. Most Jeep owners go the mall parking lot.

True. Yeah. So , when we get to the next car, grant, the link I send in chat, it’s a comparison of the new Mitsubishi Eclipse suv. And the Pontiac Aztec brother from another mother. We talk about this in the drive-through and we ask the question, the hard-hitting questions. Why the f does Mitsubishi still make cars?

This is a, they do a prime example of that question. Why the F Do they still make cars? Well, that’s the thing in, in the US market, they don’t make any cars. They only make crossovers and SUVs. This is a car I, this is what I mean by cars. I don’t mean, but, but specifically a car. I, I believe in the Japanese market, they still make small cars cuz they sell, [00:14:00] they’re one of over here.

They don’t sell manufacturers. One, one of the largest industries in the industrial, uh, enterprises in the world. You can buy your Mitsubishi TV and haul at home with your Mitubishi Eclipse suv That’s right. Along with your Mitsubishi air conditioner. Right. Well that’s your, that’s, that’s, that’s MIT Toub.

That’s great if they sell cars in Japan, but they should not sell car, they should not sell vehicles with four wheels that provide forward motion in the United States market. They barely do anymore. It’s like, it’s like a zuzu before a zuzu died. Uh, see, I’m cool with the Aztec like that as an off-road or I think it’s, I think it’s, but that’s how they would’ve built it originally.

I would’ve been okay with it. But you know, funny, I think it’s two wheel drive, but it’s funny you say that because remember the, the Suzuki Samurai was a joke. , there you go right there. Then higher chicken, Aztec and then all the four wheel guys wanted bought ’em because they, cuz they were awesome off road.

Hey. And they were great cuz if they rolled over they were the same height and width and, and and length. So you could roll ’em over easier. [00:15:00] Here’s the Pontiac Aztec tribal tattoo edition scroll that screams nineties in early two thousands. Oh yeah. And whoever drove the, what the hell is that official case?

What? Body spray? Come on ax. Body sprays re reserve for H hrs. No. Trust me that tribal Aztec had. Wait,

Oh man, that is, these are the people that buy the Pontiac Aztec. Look at that one with the gray one with the wheels, man. Keep skipping the good ones. That one? Yeah. Hang on, hang on. That. I don’t think, here’s the best one. God, I’ve had a good bit of scotch, but no amount of scotch prepared me for that taxi Aztec picture.

Let me, I, I’m, I’m okay with that. Actually, that looks pretty good. Scroll back up, Brad, because on the top left pictures there was, now keep all these cars with double layered headlights and double layered grills just look ridiculous. They look stupid. And maybe it’s a artifact that. Most cars aren’t that way, and we’re very, [00:16:00] uh, trained in, in thinking of a car has a set of lights and one grill, not, oh, let me decide to double stack front ends.

So along those lines, and that brings up a good point. The Tesla model three, an the front end of the Tesla Model three annoys me due to the lack of grill. Yes. I also dislike that I also dislike no grill, and that also is probably an artifact of just being so trained visually to have a grill on a or on, but yeah, the, the Aztec has like nostrils and a mouth.

It just looks weird. Well, the first ones were even worse when they had that cladding on them. Like the, the ones that they had, the cladding were really hideous. The ones that were at least mono color were mono colored, quite as bad. So that the cladding, the only reason the cladding was removed was cuz of the economic crisis, GM one to save money.

So they made a, the cladding an option on not just the Aztec, it was also on the avalanche. Wait, you made a shitty decision based on. No, that would never happen. No. [00:17:00] Actually by, by your definition, they made a smart decision by removing the cladding for economics. Oh yes. So you mentioned the, uh, avalanche, Mike and I agree.

When they did the plastic molding for the back section, I get what they were trying to do with going back like a throwback to the seventies and eighties where they’d have like the roll bar or something in the back. But when they did it outta plastic, everything faded so badly. It just made ’em look.

Well, so they left that part on, they took off the body cla clotting on the bottom side of the door. Yeah. Which I, I actually preferred how the Aztec looked with the clatting cuz it provided the contrast without the contrast. It looks weird. Yeah. The top, I feel the, I feel the other way around. I, they’re ugly either way, but, all right.

What else we got on the list? But you wanna talk about bad general moron’s product? Cadillac Cimarron. Oh dude, that is, that, that, I mean, my daughter would design the look of that car. It’s, it’s like what a kid would draw in terms of, well, how do you take the shittiest, cheapest car GM makes? and then make it worse.

[00:18:00] Let’s add leather and wood. But they didn’t learn cuz they made the Kotera, which was literally a Chevy Malibu with a different, no, no, actually it was an opal. And in Europe it was an awesome car. But we’re Americans and we want big, soft, cushy automatic transmission cars. I wanted the cut. That was a, was a Malibu, was an cut list, was the, um, What was the Buick version?

I don’t remember. Skylar. Skylar, yeah. But, but like the, the cutera of those years was literally the same exact body. They only changed the front grill between the Cadillac and the Chevy and, and the Oldsmobile. I thought it was based on like the Opal Omega or the VE arm. Yeah. No, it was, it was, it was an opal.

It was, it wasn’t GM parts bin. At least not US parts bin. But then, . The gto, the GTO O is not, is parts bin GM, but not us parts bin either. Yeah. That’s Holden. This was British GM parts bin, if I [00:19:00] recall. Yeah, right. It’s, it’s the Opal Omega B. But they, they sold it in the US as all of those, right, right, right.

They sold it literally, they just changed the grill for the, the Osmo be and the. Chevy when they changed from the ERO to the Cutlass. You know, the ERO had different body style. ERO was weird, but it wasn’t ugly. Like I could tolerate that car. Christie had one. It was, it was actually a fun little car. And what’s really funny is in, in Germany, they sold it as a Chevrolet.

Really? You guys, you guys are way too young for this, but you, you don’t remember this beautiful car from my childhood? The Chevy Citation X 11. Citation. Citation. Oh yes. The Chevy citation. The first front wheel drive, the X 11 was a V6 performance car. The citation. I love how, look, look it up. Yeah. It, it’s the shit citation

Yes. So that reminds me, there’s a reason why, and there was a kid I went to high school with who had one who thought he was hot shit for years. [00:20:00] All right, so who’s got another one for us to pick up? I wanna go back to the citation. Yeah, the, the citation. The citation. Yeah. Cause if you, in that time period, if your cha choice was the citation, let’s go with the X 11.

Cause Yes. Would you still choose the citation or would you choose the K card? The Plymouth s. I’m an Iya Coke man. I’m taking the Aries. Well, it’s considering, talk about the most boring, mundane office car. I hate my job kind. Okay, but car, there you go. I was thinking about the Dodge Intrepid. A little barren.

Well, come on. The, the best cake car ever made was a Chrysler Imperial. What’s wrong with you people? My God, there’s so many k k based cars. It’s not even funny. We had a Chrysler New Yorker when I was grow. that had the airride suspense, the air leveling suspension in the back. Oh God. Which the only, the only reason I could think that existed [00:21:00] was so the mobsters could put bodies in the back and it wouldn’t sag

And you, and you say that like it’s a bad thing. Didn’t someone once compare the intrepid to a suppository toward ? It’s the inci. You may or you, you, you guys again, are way too old young for this. Ford had an advertisement for the Grenada and it was, uh, Grenada, that it wrote it so well that the guy would, that the guy was going to, uh, Cut a diamond in it because the ride was so smooth.

And of course he cut his balls off . Well, well it gets better because Saturday Night Live did a parody on it with a doing a mall in the backseat of a Granada as it’s been driven. And the Rabbi, you hear why it’s a boy mean if we’re gonna talk about ugly Fords, that’s a huge list. But the For Granada, my uncle had one.

Two [00:22:00] or four door. He had the two door. Okay. So it wasn’t quite as bad. It was the end line six. Oh hood was like probably eight foot long. Yep. Shorter than a viper. So, and that car was ugly as hell. And for the smooth ride, it’s because you seriously felt like you were going up and down constantly on a water.

because there was no stiffness of the suspension. You were just like floating around water filled shocks. That’s a road hugging weight that the Ford trucks. And, uh, I’ll give you credit though, because the one my uncle had lasted to the point where the frame was about to fall in half. He had and he finally, actually was probably about 12 years ago, finally jumped it.

Wow. He, he drove it. It was so bad. and it and it’s brand new condition. It was hideous, but it was even worse because as the rust spots only got bad, he would sand ’em down and he’d prime. Whether there’d be squares of different colored primer in different spots. , you’re supposed to, you’re [00:23:00] supposed to leave that patina.

Yeah. Hey, I was gonna Sayo mod now. Patina Granada. We’re gonna go straight to the jugular of the Ford catalog. There is, I only have to say one word, Thunderbird. You’re gonna tell us, we’re too young to know this. All I have to say is Edel. Yeah, but that wasn’t really a Ford. That was that Well, that was, that was just, that was stupidity in, in Incarnate.

And it is a heinous looking car. It looks like someone wanted to, to have something to screw in the garage at night.

That grill man. That grill. Woo. Alright, so I’m gonna step out of the box a little bit from cars and go to trucks. Oh God. Having to Ord F-150. Did Mike have, cuz that was a ugly F-150. That was an ugly F-150. That was the TAUs F-150. Oh my God. So having to drive one on a daily basis while I was stationed over in England, [00:24:00] the.

Like box truck was a hideous, worthless vehicle. It had four cylinder diesel, five. and I think the top speed I was ever able to get up to was like 38 mile an hour. It’s basically look for the nineties. DAF Van. D a f. Yeah. But it’s so Puja van that looks the same. Iveco, which is owned by Oh yeah. Fiat.

Mm-hmm. , they all look the same, basically. They’re just, they’re kind of like the, the sprinter of the 1980s. Yeah. I mean if you think about it, they’re really nothing fancy. Speaking of vibe echoes, they’re actual box, like the flat nose box trucks. I had to run one of them when I, a place I worked. Oh, the one where you’re like sitting on top of the wheels.

They’re terrible and that I hated that truck and I’ve ridden in one of those. I will never do it again. It is scary. So I used to have to make runs from Frederick to Hagerstown, hauling autobody supplies and heading up South Mountain. That actually doesn’t look that bad to me. If it was lifted with some Nabby tires, it actually looks like it’d be pretty good about a [00:25:00] Daff fan if you did it right.

They were too top heavy cuz you wind up going, turtle and turtle’s not. So you wanna talk to some ugly trucks? How about the lmt? Uh, 0 0 2. Dude, that thing is pretty gross. And then there was what? The cheetah, I think was the other version. It is not cool, but on the same token, it is cool because it’s ugly, right?

It’s kind of like, honestly, I see that and it makes me think of a Hummer. The Hummer. Well that’s where the Hummer got its inspiration from the Hummer vehicle. Why? The only reason it was famous is cause of Arnold. Well, no, not only that. Well, the Hummer or this Yeah, the Hummer. Well this is famous cuz it’s a Lamborghini and it has a v12, not just that it has a v12, it has the Kuta V12 with a five speed.

Yes. And it’ll do 120 miles an hour. The Hummer is lucky if it’ll move. Hey, now my Nissan pickup, my old Nissan pickup truck did 112. This was known as the Rambo Lambo, right? I mean, dude, this thing, I think it might be. [00:26:00] But on the same token, the more you look at it, the cooler. Well, it’s, it’s like the M coop.

It’s ugly. You don’t like it. Wanna see the taillights. Yeah. Well, I think, I think off rotors are supposed to be ugly. Like I don’t think off rotors are supposed to look pretty. They’re not. They’re not. They’re not designed to be art. I’ll put it this way, it’s not any more attractive than any of the old Land Rovers.

I mean, for that matter. And that’s not the point what I’m getting at. So, yeah. I’m gonna throw this question out to the field. Did the LM Triple. or the UUs, which would you take me? What the UUs looks like. You, uh, pull it up, Brad. It’s the new Lamborghini, uh, u v to tap into my Colombian Colombian cocaine drug.

Lord roots. I want the LM 0 0 2. I’m with you on that. I bet that comes with bullet-proof glass. There’s the ugly in the conventional sense, which I think the LM 0 0 2 is ugly in the conventional sense. Yes. US car guys are gonna probably appreciate it more than Joe Schmo off the street. Right. And then there’s the.

[00:27:00] Stop, which is the UUs. Just, just stop. Just, I kind of like the UUs actually. I think it’s cool looking. I, I don’t even look at these two and put them in the same category for comparison. I, I’m with you on that, Tanya. No, I mean, UUs your car potentially after a bodily part or function. Now the UUs convertible, that brings me to another classic.

Cross Cabrio . Oh man. This turn . Is that the Mor? Is that the Morano Convertible? Ah-huh. . I passed two on a single day once in Maryland. It was the same one. They were No, they were different colors. It was white and black. Yeah. It’s still the same one. You just saw it twice. . Well, I remember when the Murano first came out, it was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen, and then they made it a convertible.

It still. They said, hold my beer. My dad used to always say, you had to be a morano to own one of those . Oh, they were horrible. Well, they, who [00:28:00] was it? Uh, Michael Johnson’s girlfriend had one and it wasn’t, again, it’s like the 9 28. It’s a very nice car. As long as you don’t look at it. I mean, the nine, so again, the 9 28, the early nine 20.

They were made famous, obviously because of Scarface and all that, but the later nine 20, God, look at that thing. , uh, the later 9 28, like the S four and the G uh, the S four s, which were the very GT and the gts. Yeah, the, the 9 28 GTS was a great car. It was a great looking car. I should say. I wouldn’t go that far.

It might have been a great car, but it it’s another one of those cars that, whoa. Wait, wait, but let me finish my thought on line 28. Hold on, because there is one thing. Exceptionally important about the 9 28 and its design. And Matt knows this. I know cuz he’s the one that told me and I had to go look it up and fact, fact check it.

It got its inspiration from the pacer because the German guy that designed the 9 28 of the Porsche Mafia thought nine 20 that the pacer was a good looking car. [00:29:00] So figure that out. What it, what it just shows you is that there was crack available. In Germany in the seventies, they were chasing the dragon.

They, they had money back then. It was cocaine, not crack. Cocaine’s. A hell of a dragon. Ugh, . So there’s one car that I think is, traditionally, it’s not, it’s not an attractive car. It’s not necessarily an ugly car either. First car to do something in the us. And Daniel has probably 5 billion of these things on his, on his lap.

Pretty stable wagon. It’s actually the Ford TAUs was the first car in the US to have aerodynamic headlights because it had replaceable bulbs rather than sealed beams. But it is an ugly fucking car. . Well, the, the original, I mean the original Taurus Ford Bank banked the farm on the original ta. Yeah, but when they made the oval, the oval Taurus, yeah.

It was the first one with arrow headlights in the US cuz they were the first one to get approval to have replaceable bulbs rather than sealed. Be. . I’m wondering though, [00:30:00] Mike, I gotta, I wanna, I wanna double check that because the Audi 5,000 was not everybody’s cup of tea, but it also was, had one of the lowest coefficients of drag for the longest time.

And I’m wondering if that doesn’t beat out the tourists in terms of aerodynamic headlights and all that kind of stuff. So I’d, I’d have to dig into that a little. by aerodynamic headlights, I mean ones that were not a sealed beam headlight off the shelf that you buy an auto parts store. It actually had a molded piece of plastic that was the lens of the headlight itself.

Right? But the five thousands and the coops and all those cars from the eighties were not sealed beam headlights with the wraparound headlights. You, you could shake the bulb out and change them. So I’m thinking that might, it might be the first American card that. But I don’t know that it’s the first car that has airbag.

It was, it was supposed to be the first car available for sale in the US that had approval to not use c Well, I mean, I mean, thanks to, uh, what’s the guy from, uh, the Green Party? What’s his name? Nader. Thanks to Ralph [00:31:00] Nader. The 5,000 wasn’t sold for very long in the us. I’m just kidding. . So, back to the headlight thing real quick.

Yeah. Yeah. The, the reference I found is that, That Ford has to actually request that the N H T S A approve aerodynamic headlights. They might not have been the first to release it, but it said that they were the ones to prediction the N H T S A to make that change. Nice. We’ll, we’ll snoops this later. We will.

But anyway. No, I get it. I mean, the Taurus, when you look at the Taurus and profile though, you realize it’s just a bloated Ford Sierra. I mean, it’s the same. It’s all the same stuff. So why would you choose the Taurus versus the Tempo? Oh, the Tempo is just an amazing vehicle. I mean, they look the same. . Look at that.

Well, cuz the Taurus, you could go with the SHO option, which wasn’t even a Ford motor. It was a Yamaha. Yeah. But. What is the difference between the Taurus and the Tempo? There’s, the tempo is smaller. It’s built on the escort chassis. Ah, it’s the Jetta. The Taurus is the Passat. I get it now. The Taurus is built on the, on the [00:32:00] eo.

Yeah. , I think, I think, I think the tempo was its own chassis because one of my buddies, uh, his, his mom had a tempo and then for whatever reason it was a great car to play Cat and mouse in though, cuz we all, we all hated it. So we beat the shit out of it. And to get, to get the tempo. What did she get rid?

Her Audi 5,000 . And now here’s a winner, Stratus, the cirs and the Strattice. The early ones, that’s a late, that’s a later strattice. These are cars for people who, who know nothing about cars. , it’s a, it’s a rental car. I mean, you know, those are cars for people who jump bridges in. No, that right there is how Strattice has come from the factory.

It’s a, I mean, it’s a, it’s a rental car. Nobody, nobody buys, nobody actually buys those cars. Yeah. I looked at a stratus when I was very, you would, when I was much younger, I was trying to look at an SR or whatever. They were the s r t stratus. Now, when you take a [00:33:00] test drive from the Dodge dealership, . He looked at me and said, no,

Yeah. You know what’s funny? You know how you know that gold one there that you just, uh, hovered over? The best part about this is my next door neighbor. Her mom lives with her and she’s like 157 years old. That’s what she drives. A gold Dodge Strattice, exactly like the one there in the picture. I’m surprised it still runs.

No, I live next. It’s probably got 30,000 miles on it cuz she never drives it. But it’s 30,000 miles and it’s on its seventh transmission. ? No, that would, that would be a Chrysler Caravan. Thank you. They had the ultra DI transmission, which was their first four speed automatic. And it had a, apparently a, a phenomenal ability to grenade for no reason.

Well, I’m gonna come out there if we’re going with that, by saw like the strattice and things like that. You gotta bring up the, uh, seabra. Well, yeah, yeah. Greatest convertible of all time. Hey, I drove one of those [00:34:00] cars in Erie, Pennsylvania at an autocross and. I was beating people with street prepared cars cuz that ca, that chassis is so flexible you can turn it anywhere.

My college roommate, the only reason his his car survived the tornado that hit College Park was probably because it was the eighties seabring convertible cuz the roof wasn’t strong enough to have that car lifted up like the cars on either side of him. Nice that remember the model right now, but Brad search for slur Maserati together.

Oh, I know. I what? You’re the tc. The tc. Thank you. The Chrysler tc. So again, a lot of people might think freaking heinous car, whatever. There’s one version of this that’s actually a hard top coop that you could get. No, no, it’s, it’s a removable hard top. Is it a removable hard top? So the thing I like about this car is that they don’t make it anymore.

Well, the A, they don’t make it anymore. It’s not a [00:35:00] Chrysler Power plant. Slightly repented by Maserati, but you could get it with a manual transmission. So for me, I’m kind of like, this is the unicorn Chrysler of that time period, especially like the late eighties, early, early nineties. And I’m kind of like, secretly would be like, I would drive.

It is a Chrysler motor. The only difference is it has a different head. Yeah, yeah. That’s right. That’s right. It’s a Maserati valve train or whatever. So no matter how ugly it is, if it’s a manual that makes it, at least for you can have a little fun drive. But I mean, look at it, comparable in profile as a convertible.

It’s not bad. Like I, it looks like a Cadillac. I would take that over a little bit. Ante. Yes. My question is this, have you ever driven a manual transmission Chrysler of that genre? No. And I kind of secretly want to and that’s why Matt, no, no, you don’t because I, I used to have to drive it fairly regularly because it was.

One of the two cars that I got to drive if I left my car at my friend’s. Yeah. A Chrysler minivan. Five [00:36:00] speed. What Talk about, talk about rare. All right, so looking at that car shift, shifting that car with ma, it makes the VW beetle transmission feel, uh, notchy. This apparently is Eric’s dream right here.

This is, this is the sign of his perfect life, unfortunately, you know, the quarter zip up shirt in dark green. Yeah, that’s, that’s pretty much me right there if you blew that out. But, you know, I, the one thing I like about the Cadillac for the time period, because it’s a nineties car, it’s got that kind of squarish Audi look like I’m okay with the way it looks, especially with a nice set of wheels.

It came in some interesting colors. I think the biggest problem with the, the ante is, , it’s got a North Star, so it’s got a garbage motor in there and that’s what pretty much ruins it from me. You, you say that now and knowing what I know about the North Star is, I agree with you, but when they were new, compare that motor to the 4.9 Cadillac motor.

You will never say that again. [00:37:00] Absolutely. I remember when they first came out, we got it as a rental car. I was tdy y down in, and we were able to rent a Cadillac that had the north. And the place that we were authorized to rent through was closed. We’re like the hell this. We went to the one next to it to get a car.

Cause we were getting 35, 40 minutes from the base. So we’re like, all right, what do you have? We’re authorized X number of dollars. And I think it was like for the entire week and a half, two weeks we were there, it was like an extra hundred dollars to get this North Star Cadillac. I’m like, Dude, let’s chip in 25 bucks each.

Hell yeah. We’re getting into the Cadillac. We did it. Get on the highway, my buddy just stomped into, and it had good acceleration for what it was compared to cars at that time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not saying, but if you look at that picture of the Benzs versus the Cadillac, obviously I’m gonna take the Benzs over the Cadillac every day at the.

But only if it’s brown, right? Yeah. It’s got a come in Turd Brown, because that’s the only seventies color that matters. So Mercedes hasn’t necessarily made the most beautiful cars either, so Well, let’s hear some examples. I don’t hear anybody throwing anything out with the Titan . I, so [00:38:00] I will say with the Black Grill it looks better than with the giant chrome thing that mine has.

The only Titans I don’t like Mike, sorry, but I hate this. Whatever gill thingy is on the front fender, it’s just. And it’s, and it’s functionless. Ugh. Yeah. So, and the other, the annoying thing is that, is like, that’s how they announce it’s a Cummins or a v8. They’re all actually v8. S even the Cummins, all the chrome is what annoys me about mine.

And that’s, that’s just, I don’t, I don’t mind chrome, but it’s just, it’s functionless. It doesn’t do anything. It’s like the, uh, The exhaust fence on the, the, the on the front fenders of a TransAm that are nothing but uh, stick ons. Buick did that recently with one of their models to throw back to the old Buicks that actually had functional ones.

They made a newer Buick model that had non-functional ones on the side of the fenders. Well, but Buick, Buick has a long history of that. I mean, the portholes on Buicks were around in the fifties. Yeah. They stuck ’em back for no reason. They didn’t do anything then. Brad’s too busy looking up some car porn right now.

[00:39:00] Debbie Lumina. Yeah. Hey, the Lumin. The Lumina won a lot of races. The van had nothing to do with the real Oh, the Lumina van. They had a Wa Warner Brothers edition of the Lumina van that came with a little badge on the back that had Bugs Bunny on it. And that was the one that came with the TVs inside for the kids to watch.

Well, that is, that is the Dustbuster, the man was the replacement for the silver Illumina. Yeah. That’s the original Dustbuster. That’s the original space shuttle like we’re doing now. I know, right? They, uh, when that came out, they’ve raced that in lemons. Okay. So look up the Suzuki X 90. Hey, now I want one of those.

They’re hot. No it’s not. Oh, that’s awesome. With the plow. The X, the X 90. The X 90 is the only thing I want, aside from a geo metro convertible. What else we got? Oh, I got all sorts of fun. Look up at Suzuki X. You’re just asking for. It’s, that’s one of the few, that’s one of the few ugly cars you can still find every now and then too.

Great. But here’s the thing, the Tracker, I think looks better than that. [00:40:00] I mean, look, that’s just Tractor’s a different car. It does look like it’s made by Tom Guy. I mean, , it’s, it looks like it’s made by Hot Wheels. I wouldn’t, it looks like it’s made by Fisher Price. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Fisher Price. That’s, I agree completely on that.

That is terrible. See, and that, here’s the thing. We had it right with the Sam. Why they tried to do this with the X 90, and I think a lot of it, they want the rounded lines and things like that to try to appeal more women to drive it. Because the Samurai women didn’t like the way it looked. Well, didn’t they also, cuz I remember it was a big thing when I was in high school that Suzuki was getting trouble for the rollover risk of the Samurai.

It was the rollover for the Samura ian. For the trooper. They were very, very top. The Amigo, the Samurai. The Samurai had a shorter wheel base and therefore it, it was more prone to roll over than the trooper. I mean, if you, if you, uh, that I know a guy who rolled three of ’em took well, but it, the problem is the exploder, even, even without the tire issues, was more taught with, was [00:41:00] tippy, was just as tippy as the other two.

Well in the Explorer, they’ve, they had problems through that production room where one time they upgraded the model to the next generation and forgot to widen the track of where they attached the, the wheels on the next generation. So the wheels were too close in on one of the generations. For the first, the early start of the production run, the, the Explorer had all sorts of issues to rich production.

Well, they were, they were horrible. They were horrible to drive because it was a ranger pickup truck. It was extended and bloated with all kind of shit. So it was super heavy. At one point they, I think they gave that model a v8. We had one of those with a V8 D Eddie Bower that, that one, a green one. Eddie Bower edition.

We had one of those. I actually loved driving it cuz it was just a nice, nice thing. And when my other choice was the conversion band, that was a nice, uh, I actually like conversion vans, but that’s if I were to travel cross country. Cause they’re, I mean they’re, they’re, they’re horrible for anything else.

Conversion vans are great. You know, you, you and 10 of your friends and they get [00:42:00] airborne. So, Mike, when you speak of the Explorer sport, the two-door version of it, my grandfather had one of those. We, we had the, we had the four door. Eddie Bauer. Yeah. So I will say this, my grandfather always owned international trucks until international stopped making smaller size.

And they started buying Ford trucks all the way up till it was probably around 97 timeframe when he had that explorer sport and he decided, you know what? , I don’t like it. He went, traded in on a, uh, Tahoe and that was the first GM he had ever bought in his life. So I have to thank the Explorer sport for converting my grandfather from a for guy to a GM guy.

Well, okay, so that’s not a fair comparison though, cuz you’re talking about going from a blazer sized vehicle to a 1500 Tahoe sized vehicle. Oh, so that’s, that’s not apples to apples. It, it’s not, but I don’t. Just just cause it lured him to the, I mean that’s, you know, just cuz that’s what [00:43:00] made him sell the soul of the devil.

You know, you can’t, you can’t blame that . The Explorer Sport is as much a Ford truck as a, as a, uh, Chevy Love as a Chevy pickup. How about the Explorer Sport track? Well, no thank you. You seen those? I haven’t seen one of those in a while, but yes, they would be bad. Granada Bronco two sable wagon. Dude, you’re winning them all.

Good Lord. Uh, so I actually, so the, the F-150 I had is also the F-150 that was sold as the lightning. Well, there was a lightning before yours. Well, the, the 93 was the one that everyone bought, that everyone wanted to be a opposer tuner, or whatever. And uh, I absolutely hate the looks of that truck. But I love the idea of that truck.

I’ll give the Ford Lightning credit for the fact that they were taking that step up, putting a performance engine into a truck. Because prior to that, Ford hadn’t really done a whole lot of that, and GM always had like their SSS and things like that. Don’t, not, not, don’t even [00:44:00] talk about what an SS badge Chevy will stick anything on.

They had an SS Malibu wagon. No, the Malibu, max Baby, Malibu Max. I mean, they have an SS H H R. You can’t trust Chevy for shit. And it’s the fastest thing on track . Well, in the early years, you know Chevrolet, uh, yeah, gm, GM SS actually meant something. Oh yeah. And then, you know, towards the nineties it started with Illumina.

They, they had, they had the Chevy. So the Chevy Lumina, or the Chevy Celebr. And how do you sell a Chevy celebrity? Cuz it sucks. You call it a Euro sport. Why? Because it’s a Euro and therefore it must be worth buying. I, I will say that Chevy was fine when they suck Z whatever on everything under the goddamn sun, but kept SS for actual performance cars.

But once they suck SS on the Malibu Max and a couple other stupid models, it’s like, the fuck are you doing? Just stop. It’s all about branding for people to buy it. Wow. That’s what they, and that’s what they did. I mean, [00:45:00] it’s just like the Mustang Mae, which now everybody just calls the Mae and they’ve dropped the Mustang, but still apparently a Mustang.

Cause people are, it’s something for, in Ford advertising, they said, we made the Mustang, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, electric. So something something. So what else we got? Woogie. Woogie. The, yeah, sorry. I’ve had a lot of scotch. Um, I’m trying to remember what year it was that Nissan had a Maxima and it had this giant buck tooth grill, like an Audi, but it had a center bar that was Chrome and it looked like a big giant chrome buck tooth.

Mm-hmm. , trying to remember early two, early two thousands I think. I think you’re right. That was the most God awful. Well, that was the same car that, uh, Nissan and their infinite wisdom did not install a sunroof. They installed. Yeah, they, they had those, the long clear window . Yeah. What the fuck were you think?

Well, their minivan was better. It had little, uh, what do they call ’em? Portals. Nissan gave you a skylight over [00:46:00] each seat. So that was, that was actually the late two thousands early 2010 model max. Because the nineties Maxima was actually good looking. The the one after that was eh, and then the one you’re describing.

Yeah. Went to hell. And the best, the be the best thing I’m learning about Maximus, the front core support. What’s the first thing you do when you buy a 10 year old Maxima? Replace the core support cuz it’s rotten. I was gonna say drive it into a wall, but another, they’re actually not, they sell it . Yeah.

Sell it. You buy it to sell it. Yeah. Let’s see, what else do I got? Unless somebody else wants to jump in. Oh. S uh, Zuzu via. I like the Via cross. I wanted one so bad when it came out. I mean, that just shows there’s no accounting for taste. The the Iron, the Iron Man via Cross. I thought it was awesome. That V6 with 200 some odd horsepower, the vro is weird.

I, I was, I wanted to buy one and go right to the decar rally. I don’t [00:47:00] know that it was ugly. It was just weird. But then, I mean, look, the all time ugly, but kicks ass car is still the bmw, the original BMW m Coop, the clown, the clown shoe. The clown shoe. So a car that a lot of people loved that I thought was ugly.

The first generation super, I thought it was an ugly ass car. In, in no way, shape or form is appealing to me, looks wise. But if the original super was just a, it was just a, it was just a a s. Yeah. I mean, if you got one of the, but if you got one of the twin turbo ones, you did that fourth, A fourth gen a way later one.

No, no. The first guy know had a, a turbo, like 70, like 78. Yeah. It was, they weren’t turbo. They were six cylinders. I was gonna say one had had a turbo on it, and that was a, that was an add-on. Yeah. Oh, you’re think, you’re thinking, you’re thinking that big heavy thing with the teeth, with the, with the, uh, were turf.

Yeah. With the tar roof. They were, that’s, that’s the FC. Sure, whatever it is. The target. The target roof one that was, that [00:48:00] was its own. That was its own unique car. It wasn’t, that wasn’t a silicon. Yeah, it was ugly, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t anything special either. Cause it was heavy past. I furious Supra, which was the third gen Supra.

That was the round one. Like Uh, no, that was the fourth gen. That’s the fourth gen. That’s the last super until the new one. I’m trying to, I think the third gen’s, the one that he’s talking about, which is the one right. It had, it had a target top and it was a big, heavy thing. But the first two supras were like old school celicas, like the very, very early supras.

Like a a, a lift back or whatever. Yeah. It was called a Celica Supra, correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all. And all it was was a sica with a six cylinder. Right. Which, which was pretty cool cuz I, to be wholly honest with you, I kinda liked the original, the second gen was more, uh, it was still ru real dry, but it was that really, really, uh, rectangular look.

Yes, it looked like asteron basically is what it looked like. See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The second genin there, that second gen was, it was, I mean, it was square. Square, could be. I didn’t mind that. I didn’t, I didn’t mind the second gens, the [00:49:00] third gens were just bloated versions of the second of the second. Well, the pro, the problem with the, with the, with the third gen was that it had the charger roof and it had a turbo motor, but it was its own unique body and it didn’t do anything.

It was just, It’s sort of like the gtr. It’s big and bloated. Right. Well, and then so like speaking of Celicas, when they came out in the early two thousands, when went back to that really boxy look. Oh yeah. The really Yeah. Fan of that look. I just think it’s an ugly look. Well, even the ones that Ron has look like Little birds, right?

It’s like they never made a supervision of that car. Like no Celica super there. Well, they stopped making supers after the last 98 90. . Well, the last super had no bearing on ce, on Selica at all. Yeah, well it did. It did. Because if you look at its lines, especially the fourth gen, it looks like the very last version of the.

Like Carlos Sands era rally cars, if you really look at its lines, they took that car and widened it and lengthened it. But it’s still [00:50:00] basically a, a sica at the end of the day. Yeah. But it’s, yeah, but it was front engine rear drive, you know, and so on, and so on and so on. It, you know, and, and the, the sica by that point was front wheel drive.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Except for the all track versions of it, but still, it’s still retained, like the window shape and some of the silhouette of the sica. So you could say it’s loosely associated with it. But the fourth gen super’s a good day, in my opinion. Much like the artist. Yeah. I mean, and, and they’re, they’re commanding big money.

Yeah. So the fourth gen actually had more in common with Alexis than it did a. Yeah, like the, what was that one called in the SC 300? SC four, yeah. Yeah. It used the dr the, the drivetrain parts from those as opposed to a silicon. That’s some name. It was like a solar name, like solar Soer Soer. There. It’s so, yeah.

Which was the original SC, I think right as well was based on that. The SC 300? Yeah. Sc, yeah. 300 and 400. All right. So what other, what other ugly cars do we have out there? Mike [00:51:00] Subaru Tribe. Oh God, yeah. Oh, the first one with the tombstone? Yes. That one was on my list, the 2005. So I’m gonna throw it out there cuz it’s not a four-wheel, uh, vehicle.

Reliant Robin . I, I, I do agree with that. Many of the three wheel vehicles are just weird looking function. Well, Brad will fight you on that because he likes the the Morgan three wheel thing. Uh, well, the, the tri, they’re cool. They’re weird, but they’re cool. But I’m not, I don’t see it. The BMW C one, it’s a scooter, has like a windshield and everything comes up over here.

It looks like a big old wall where you could hit the brakes hard enough and you would just roll over back to your tires again. I mean, it’s like, I mean, have you seen the BMW Z one? The prototype before the Z three s where the doors would go down into the rocker. Those, that was amazing. I saw one in person.

They’re, they’re wicked, but they’re not the most attractive car in the world, that’s for sure. No, but I saw at the BMW museum down in, uh, North Carolina. Mm-hmm. at the factory in per like, those [00:52:00] doors are awesome. Yeah, they’re pretty slick. Did you see the episode of Top Gear where Clarkson tried to drive one?

No. Oh yeah. I can’t remember. I wanna say GM had a car back in the like 60. , it was a prototype where the doors went down into the floorboard under the table. Well, the reasoning apparently, according to Clarkson, but I remember watching this episode, the reasoning BMW had for the doors retracting into the rocker panels on the Z one was so that, because at the time period, women in miniskirts could get in the car without showing off their lead unless, unless their name was Paris.

Well, yeah, but that’s, that’s different. She was trying to show off

Brand new Camry actually doesn’t look half bad. Funny. It’s not nearly as bland as it had been except those, like if you look at the performance models of the new Camry, you see those vents on the back bumper that aren’t really vents. Oh, look, not, not being bland, it doesn’t mean it’s automatically a good looking car [00:53:00] though.

Just because they made it, it does not make it good. Look, look at the new. Look at the new Civic. You wanna talk about a bunch of fake vents? I’ve got another hot take for an ugly car. Oh, go for it Brad. This one’s new. Ooh, is that the Santa? Yes. It functions or it it is. It it. Fastest car in the world right now, or whatever, but holy crap.

It’s got a face. Only a mother can love. Yeah, a computer in the back and an interior and everything. Only a mother could love, but the car is hideous. I think the center is, it’s weird. I mean, they took like a what, a P seven 20 and just really let the, the boffins do whatever they wanted to do on the computer.

I mean, it’s, it’s. Put something outta Forza. It’s weird. That’s what happens when engineers design a car. Completely

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