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B/F: The Drive Thru #6 – Would You like fries with that?

Ermagherd Mershed Perterders!

Tania M
By Tania M
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The Drive Thru is our monthly recap where we’ve put together a menu of local, racing, electric-vehicle and random car-adjacent news. In this episode, we put together a Greatest Hits + Directors Cut of our fan favorite section “Would You like Fries with that?” – Be sure to check out the episode for a couple *new* #floridaman stories!

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Showcase: Florida Man & Lowered Expectations!

Florida Man!

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] The Drive Thru is GTM’s monthly news episode and is sponsored in part by organizations like HPTEjunkie. com, Hooked on Driving, AmericanMuscle. com, CollectorCarGuide. net, Project Motoring, Garage Style Magazine, and many others. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of the Drive Thru, look no further than www.

gtmotorsports. org. Click about, and then advertising. Thank you again to everyone that supports Gran Touring Motorsports, our podcast, Brake Fix, and all the other services we provide. Hello, and welcome to another installment of the drive thru. This is Brad, your host. With me as always is Eric. Hello! And we’ve got Tanya as well.

Hi! As you may know, the drive thru is our monthly recap where we’ve put together a menu of local, racing, and random car jason news. So now, I think it’s time to switch to our fan favorite section of the drive thru. A section we call… Would you like some [00:01:00] fries with that? Well, we’ve scoured the world looking for the best in car adjacent news.

So what’s first? Probably the best, but it’s always interesting.

I think it should be called Florida Man. That’s what we originally called it. I think it should stay, the next section is Florida Man. Well, there’s a quote that goes with it. That’s what the next line is. So I’m going to use Tanya’s thing and then go ahead. Because every, every good story seems to start with a Florida Man.

So I’m going to start with a Florida Man. Sets his car on fire, driving with a candle. I really like this story. Now, before I break it down, I wanted to say nobody was hurt, thankfully. Um, I think the only injury was obviously to this man’s vehicle, and his pride and ego, and whatever else goes along with that, but.

Can I ask you a question before you dive into this? It’s a Chevy [00:02:00] Malibu, so who really cares? It’s not much of a loss. No, no, no. I wonder, because he’s driving with a candle. And you guys are going to hear about this on a later episode. Was he trying to recreate the ambiance of the night scene in Gone in 60 Seconds?

I think he, I think he was on a date. Well, let’s break it down here and let’s see what we think when we get to the end of this. Okay. Who is this Florida man? I don’t, I don’t remember. I’m going to leave the nameless nameless. Okay. See if I can get this with a straight face. So a man was driving with a scented candle in his car.

At this point, okay, I’m more interested in why it’s a scented candle than just a candle. What is the scent? What’s the flavor? What flavor candle is that? Black ice, like you get at Track Auto. See, I wanna know how bad does this guy’s car smell that a pine cone air [00:03:00] freshener from the corner gas station wasn’t enough, okay?

He needed a scented candle, okay? Candle tips over, ignites some paperwork. Probably divorce papers. Who manufactured this candle that it tipped over, didn’t snuff itself out, and then ignited paperwork? Yankee Candle. Probably, it makes some good candles. Also, where was this candle that you didn’t see it fall over?

Subsequently, ignite paperwork that you couldn’t put the fire out very quickly. It was in the back seat for safety. Also, was there accelerant on this paper? Because, I don’t know how it lit this quickly. We read Fahrenheit 451, the temperature at which a book burns. Now, the man pulls over, grabs a trash can, goes in search of water.

At the risk of minor burns, [00:04:00] why would you not grab the paperwork? Chuck it out the car, or I don’t know, grab the floor mat, start beating the flames to put it out? Like, at what point? Do you decide that? There’s a trash can, now let me go find water. Well, that’s what you need the candle for, because you keep putting trash water in your car.

So, he presumably returns, I don’t know with water or not, in this trash can, but the car is engulfed in flames. He returned with marshmallows. Maybe. Again, the car isn’t, I want to know. Where was this candle? But more importantly, who made this extraordinary candle that lit this car on fire? That’s basically the article.

But even further, I’m left with, what do you say when you call up the insurance company? I’ll just leave it there. I mean, the candle excuse has been used for every meth lab [00:05:00] explosion on the East Coast that I know of. So, maybe this was like the scene from Breaking Bad. It’s, you know, it’s an RV and, I don’t know.

I mean, from the picture, the candle was in the front. Okay. It looked like it was in the front passenger seat. So, I don’t, I just can’t even imagine. Only in Florida. I mean, yeah, only in Florida. And, and scientists have, uh, I, I, no, I have to say it this way. Statistics have shown that people flatulate up to 14 times a day, so maybe this guy spent a lot of time in his car and therefore the candle was a necessary evil in order to survive.

I don’t think he has to say anything to the insurance company. I think when they look up his record and see Florida man, I don’t think, I think they’re just going to write it off. I think they’ve got a whole special department for Florida residents. 100%. The public service announcement, listeners, please, you know, do not drive with candles lit.

Buy, buy that black ice. I imagine seeing that on the digital board going [00:06:00] down, uh, 695 next week. All right. So, and you know, bless this man’s heart because he had the best intentions. It just weren’t really advisable, safe, legal, I don’t know. But a Florida man. Steals, and that’s a strong word, maybe, but steals a downed power pole, puts it on his, like, 1990s vintage Camry, somehow straps a downed power pole to the top of his Camry, and tries to go to a recycling center to recycle it.

But they got, but got turned away, and then Excuse me? Yeah, so that’s why I said he had the best of intentions here. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we get to the recycling center, is this like that meme that’s been on the internet since, since Al Gore created it, or sorry, since the internet was created where it’s the Jetta at Home Depot and it’s weighed down by like six feet of plywood?

Is [00:07:00] this the scene I am picturing in my head with this Camry and a telephone poles dropped to it? He was driving around town, so clearly it wasn’t too heavy for the Camry. It definitely you can see that Camry’s slightly weighted down nowhere near as bad as, as that Home Depot Jetta. So do, do telephone poles bring in a lot of money at the recycling center?

I mean, maybe it was a metal recycling center. They weigh by the pound. Well, wait, wait, it’s a metal. telephone pole? It’s not a wooden one? Oh, it’s metal. Because my next question was going to be, how are we recycling wood? No, it’s a metal one, which apparently it’s a light pole. Yes, it’s like a light pole. Oh, okay.

Okay. A tall fricking light pole, which is, I don’t know how he got it. onto the Camry. He hit it and it fell on. Maybe that’s what happened. And then he just got some straps and just, yeah. So he was already laying on the car, gets in the trunk and pulls out a ratchet strap and tries to [00:08:00] recycle center. Not even ratchet straps.

I don’t even know. This is like wire. String. It’s gotta be that, that like Ikea twine. Crafting string from Michael. Bless the 71 year old man’s heart. Wait, what? I mean, the story, there’s so many layers to this onion. Oh, please continue. We’re gonna deep fry this bloomin onion in a minute. I mean, there’s so many questions.

How did a seven year old man get the pole on top of his head? Is he Hercules? He’s like that guy from Seinfeld. The one guy’s dad who kept getting in a competition, a lifting competition. Which flea market… What’s this at Daytona Beach? I don’t know. Okay, look, just after 11 a. m. whenever this was early, broad daylight, broad daylight, 11 a.

m. on a Monday, the authority spotted the 1997 Toyota Camry. I’m glad they got the year right. And the state troopers [00:09:00] arrested seven year one year old man, and they recovered the utility pole. It was a light pole, whatever. I don’t know. He tried to do the right thing. He tried to recycle it. I think he hid it on his way to the NASCAR race and he instead of, instead of just leaving it on the side of the road, he tried to return it to the only public facility he knew of, the recycling center.

I don’t know. There’s a lot going on here. I just, I just have a grand theft. So it’s like, wait, is there a lot of copper wire in those poles? I just have this vision of a Camry going down the highway with a, now a metal. telephone pole, not a, not a wooden one on the roof. And as he’s making the off ramp, it hits the guardrail and it’s scraping the whole way down the ramp, right?

Cause I mean, a light pole is really tall, right? I’m like, how does this work? And then he goes back to get the guardrail. There’s a link. You can see a still shot of the light pole on [00:10:00] the Camry. It was a tow truck right in front because I don’t know how it would fit. Like they’re gonna like tow this guy away.

Like I don’t know how that’s all fitting together on this tow truck. But hey, I mean it’s sticking out like probably probably 20 feet off the back of the Camry. This is ridiculous. I mean, too much eggnog. All right. That’s all I know. That’s all I know is the season. So Tonya, tell us about the next Florida man.

Oh, so he had another Florida man and this is very annoying. Okay. Gets 4 million in COVID PPP and buys a Lambo. Now I, this whole time have misunderstood what the paycheck protection program was for, because it’s apparently for buying a Lamborghini Huracan and not for paying your employees during the time of COVID.

Like this jackass. Just gonna say it. I mean it’s utterly disgraceful in a time like now where [00:11:00] people are under real crisis, they’re without jobs, small business owners are struggling to make ends meet to pay their employees. You’ve got this guy defrauding the Paycheck Protection Program for four million dollars and he was shooting for way higher than that four million, okay, to support his alleged four businesses.

And I’m wondering, again, if the missing link, what we don’t know, is that one of his businesses was to drive around the Lamborghini Huracan. Maybe. But that still only falls under marketing expense, in that, I don’t, the way the 75%.

On your payroll costs, which included health insurance and taxes and stuff like that leaves you with a million bucks if it’s 75 percent right? That’s good enough to buy a Lamborghini or correct. Correct. But that means he doesn’t get to write all or you can’t get that million dollars forgiven for that hurricane.

I mean, apparently it was a 318, [00:12:00] 000 Huracan, so I don’t know what they actually go for, but… Slap some vinyls on the side of that thing. It’s marketing, baby! And I will say that it was dirt simple to get approved for the PPP loans. I’m an accountant, and I’ve had to do this for a couple clients. And they don’t ask for…

I mean, they ask for some information, but you basically fill it out yourself. You go through your bank, and if you’ve got a good relationship with your bank, they don’t look. They don’t ask questions. They just say, oh, you’re approved. Here you go. That’s unfortunate. I mean, it wasn’t just a Lamborghini either.

I mean, he was buying lots of other, like, high end luxury items. He had a million bucks to spend, of course. But what I want to know is… What type of candle did he buy for his name? What scent do you think it came in? See that’s gonna be the that’s gonna be the next article. Florida man burns Lamborghini to get rid of evidence.

Like donkey. Yeah, I was gonna say does it come in shit bag? It smells like jackass. I mean, he was caught. [00:13:00] He’s facing serious criminal charges as you should think. Bank fraud, falsifying, you know, statements to a lending institution, engaging in transactions with unlawful proceeds. It’s, it’s, it’s serious.

It’s a million dollar fine and 30 years in prison. So, I mean, hope that was worth it. This reminds me of that story a few years ago where another Florida man bought that Bugatti Veyron and tried to sink it in the, I guess in the intercoastal because he didn’t have the money to cover the loan or whatever.

So he tried to do insurance fraud. So we’re back, back to Florida and not, you know, there’s a lot of nice fine people in Florida. We’re not trying to, you know, poke fun at Floridians. Um, there’s, there’s crazy people in every state and every part of the world that do some very crazy things. And, you know, this just happens that, again, it’s another Florida man.

And, you know, he wanted a Porsche. He wanted a 911 Turbo. And, you [00:14:00] know, perhaps he didn’t have the 140, 000 for it, but he had the 75 for a home printer. So, you know, what do you do? I mean, you just. Print a cashier’s check for 140 grand and you walk into the dealer and you buy yourself a 9 11 jervo. Makes total sense.

And then you try to buy three Rolexes with more printed checks. And then of course, because you bought a 75 printer. And I don’t know if you bought a 75 printer. Um, you get caught. Then you get arrested. And you very likely go to jail for fraudulent activities. check forging and all sorts of good stuff. So needless to say he was caught short lived.

I hope he enjoyed the two days he had to 9 11. I mean, there is all sorts of wrong with this equation, from not just the printing of the check, but the people that accepted it, [00:15:00] the dealership, and everything else. I mean, it’s just mind boggling. And again, not trying to single out Florida, because… But the stuff that goes on down there, you can’t, you can’t make this up.

I mean, it was a really good printer, I don’t know. I mean, usually the cashier’s checks and things like that, I mean, checks in general, I mean, have certain marks, watermarks. They, they use, they use a special magnetic ink. So you, so again, it all comes full circle. You take apart the Etch A Sketch to use the parts to repair your Cybertruck, use the magnet aluminum magnetic powder inside the Etch A Sketch to make your Your check that you bought the printer from Best Buy so you can go buy your Sony Vision S.

You see it all, it’s all full circle. It’s turtles all the way down from here. And then with your Best Buy rewards points you can turn around on the PlayStation 5 put in your Sony Vision S. There you go. We have connected all the dots now. So, what else is [00:16:00] going on in Florida? Anything? So, this one is quite good and it’s worth a look at the image.

So, it’s a very short article and our southern friends at Wink News, Southwest Florida’s leading news, posted this article about a Florida man seen on video. riding on the hood of a truck down a busy highway and I would like to point out that it’s not just a truck like ain’t no ford f 150 or chevy this is a freaking semi truck okay he and according to the picture he’s only wearing underwear he’s sunbathing I noticed that too I was like wow at least I hope it’s underwear and not blurred out but at any rate It’s probably, it’s hopefully gray underwear.

So, a Florida man went, and I’m going to read this article, Florida man went for a nine mile busy highway, [00:17:00] but in a highly unusual fashion, on the hood of a tractor trailer. The South Florida Sun Sentinel reported that the unidentified man climbed onto the hood Saturday after stopping his vehicle along Florida’s Turnpike and walking out onto the highway.

The Florida Highway Patrol says the tractor trailer driver continued on down the road as the man clung to the hood and began pounding on the windshield with his fists and his forehead. Eventually, a trooper stopped the tractor trailer and took the man into custody. He was committed for a 72 hour mental health evaluation under the state’s Baker Act.

No serious injuries were reported. Maybe he would like to say… If he has a mental health issue, that’s nothing to make fun of, and I hope he gets the help that he needs, because that’s very serious. That aside, what the hell was the tractor trailer driver doing? Like, why did you keep going for nine miles?

That guy, that guy was standing [00:18:00] his ground. Maybe. Gordon’s got that stand your ground law. I bet that’s what he was doing. Maybe they were reenacting the scene from Indiana Jones. Where he crawls up from underneath of the Nazi, you know, military truck and then ends up on the windshield. Maybe it’s the sequel to Lost Bullet 2.

Or maybe it’s a rebirth of Gone in 60 Seconds. I, and I know the listeners haven’t heard these episodes yet, but they are coming. And believe me, they’re amazing. So, who knows? There’s crazy people all over the world. And this next one brings us across the pond to a London woman who fell out of a car onto a busy highway while filming a Snapchat video.

I agree with the police. It truly is lucky that she wasn’t seriously injured or killed, or let alone somebody else be traumatized by hitting her on the highway. But think of [00:19:00] the views. But the best, the best part of the article. Quote, and I assume this is in response to a Twitter post from the London police.

Asked by a user if officers explain the dangers of the attempts to the woman, the police replied. Every chance they worked it out before, we spoke to them about it. This wasn’t the first time this woman dangled out of a car on the highway trying to do Snapchat videos. Dumb AF. Was it the first time she fell out?

Those are all on TikTok instead. So, you know, she was doing some stupid, you know, happy hands dance. Like, she’s doing the floss, like out the window of the car. Kiki, do you love me? Are you [00:20:00] riding? Let me fall out on the freeway.

Oh, that’s good. That’s rich. Wow. I mean, we know no bounds when it comes to this sort of stuff. Whew. Thank you to the world for, for, for giving us this. Man, what’s the equivalent of the Darwin Awards in the automotive world? That’s what we got going on here. How did this Florida woman make it to the UK?

I mean, uh, maybe she could have taken a ride on the front of a tractor trailer like the guy from last month. I mean, you know, it all comes full circle. There’s so many ways that this dramatic dramatization could end. God, I, I can’t explain this one at all. I will say there was some other crazy stuff that happened in Florida this past month and involved inebriation.

Golf carts [00:21:00] and riding lawnmowers in the riding lawnmower was going down the highway.

So public service announcement. Please do not operate any sort of motorized vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Full stop. But with that being said, I can’t explain our next story, which is. A square body hauls 32, 000 pounds of logs. What’s a square body? Shimmy! Yeah! And I tell you what, I started watching this video and I got about 30 seconds in and my brain started to melt.

Right? And then I realized, man, Mountain Man Dan is going to be so proud of this. So I got to watch this video because it involves square bodies. And I’m like, all right, I’m in it. And then I realized it’s 20 minutes long. [00:22:00] And I’m like, I’m like, holy cow, where are we going? So the moral to the story is, if you want to understand the phrase more money than brains, this video pretty much summarizes that sentiment.

He can’t have that much money. He’s got a square body. All right, hold up. He bought a retired fire truck, bright red, all the decals on the side, paid 15 grand. For a square body and it’s mint lifted. I mean, they showed pictures of it underneath. All the parts have been replaced, manual transmission, rebuilt 350, all this stuff.

I mean, this truck was ready to go. Yeah, ain’t nothing to look at. It’s a square body. I mean, if you’re a fan of them, if you’re a fan of a brick with wheels, fine. It is what it is. But I’m looking at this thing for, for what it is, being as, as old as this, it’s a great truck. 15 grand, maybe a little bit much to spend on it.

And then this guy, younger gentleman, he [00:23:00] decides. Well, we did a test on another episode where we wanted to see how much a Ford F 150 diesel or whatever it was could tow to its absolute limit. And apparently this gentleman is not a fan of the square body. And he tells you that pretty much within the first minute of the video.

And he says, I want to prove or disprove whether or not these trucks are really all that they’re cracked up to be. Because square body owners are religious. As we know, Mount Mandan is. Those trucks can do anything. They can go anywhere. There will be one in space next to the Tesla Roadster, you know, in, in several years, I’m sure it’ll be, it’ll be flying rust though, but you know, hey, whatever.

So another, um, interesting little piece of news for three people that probably care. Tesla Roadster that’s out there in orbit somewhere, uh, is close to Mars. And moving on. No, just kidding. Uh, I don’t know who really cares about this. I guess it’s a fun fact. [00:24:00] Um, to throw some fun facts, it’s traveled 1. 3 billion miles since it was launched.

And it’s approximately 37 million miles away from the planet earth. So it’s going to be a very long time before it’s ever back. Sort of, sort of close to earth. And even then you won’t be able to see it. Um, with, you know, high power telescope or anything like that. So at least not one, not, not a personal one, at least.

And it did this on a single charge.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. I still don’t understand the point of the whole thing, but Hey, it’s out there being space junk. So moving on and speaking of just because you can’t fall off when it collects moisture in space. Is there moisture in space?

So with that being said, he [00:25:00] decides, okay, I’m going to make sides for the bed and I’m going to fill it with firewood. Cool. I was like, well, to me, that doesn’t seem like, that does not seem like 16 tons of wood. Nope. That was to level the bed with the roof so that he could then proceed to put logs, telephone poles, and all sorts of trees on top of the truck, and then strap it down with chains to the body and see how far he could drive.

Once they realized they had forward motion in the truck, then it was time to destroy the truck. And do all sorts of crazy things. So I’m not going to spoiler alert, but you need to watch the video and watch it through the end because there’s even stuff in the outtakes of the video, uh, that are just mind bogglingly stupid.

But I will say it has left me with a new impression of the square body. Those trucks are amazing. [00:26:00] I would say they’re right up there with the Toyota Hilux. Cannot kill one, uh, as hard as these guys try, uh, but you will lose brain cells by the end of that 20 minute period. It is absolutely bonkers. But it did, it did, it did lead me into another question though, because I, as I was thinking about it.

I wanted to know, Squarebody, you know, was famous, was made famous by Lee Majors, the Fall guy, right? Two tone, Squarebody flying through the air every episode, right? Because he was like the Magnum PI with the pickup truck. And it got me thinking, because we were talking about it the other day, Mr. T and trailer and vans and this and that, you know, you had the A Team van.

John Voight drove a LeBaron, and there’s other celebrities that drive all sorts of weird cars. And it got me thinking, what does Mr. T drive as a street car? So in a quick round of what should I buy, what do you guys think? What does Mr. T drive as his daily driver? Buick [00:27:00] Roadmaster.

So I just found a picture of him in ZR1, if it’s true. So there you go. Maybe he has a Corvette. Boom. Is it a C4 ZR1? Him in the door. There you go. That is true. Mr. T drives a Corvette. So how do you like that? Right? I am. I want to know what body style as well because he’s a big dude. So, maybe you can put a big man in a little car, right Brad?

You can wedge anybody into anything. Apparently Matt keeps telling me you can fit me into a Miata. I don’t believe it, but, Stranger things have happened. Do we want to talk about Sturgis, or do we want to just leave it where it sits? I mean, uh, I don’t know. All I was, so, I mean, We might be remiss without a little bit of COVID car adjacent news, I suppose.

I think we’re all aware, because it was in the news, uh, quite a bit leading up to the event, during the event, [00:28:00] after the event, the Sturgis, uh, the yearly Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, um, a lot of people were very concerned prior to this event taking place that it was going to be bringing, you know, Thousands of people that weren’t going to be socially distant and using masks, et cetera, et cetera.

Lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened at the event. Um, and then, you know, the bigger headlines were 250, 000 cases of, you know, the coronavirus because of the surges rally. And, you know, that, that got people excited. And then there was. some, you know, back checking, well, you know, really probably wasn’t 250, 000.

That was really a number that was just kind of generated from predictions of what, you know, the worst case could be. At the end of the day, I, none of us really know what the true numbers are and I haven’t been following it that closely. I, I think it’s, It’s probably accurate to say that, you know, COVID was [00:29:00] probably brought to this small town of South Dakota if it wasn’t already there as a result of this, um, event.

Um, I’m sure that, you know, it wasn’t zero cases, probably wasn’t 250, 000. Who knows, but nonetheless, you know, we’re still in this thing, whether you want to believe it exists or not, we all got to do our part, um, so we can get through it, so just, just be mindful of that. All right. All right, so, I’ve got a question.

So we’re still in an age of remakes, sequels, and all that, right? Yeah, of course. We’re still living in this age. So who thinks it’s time for a Ben Hur redo? What? Brought into modern times. Fast and the Furious Ben Hur edition? I think you mean Ben Harley. Oh, I like it. So I know this sounds ludicrous, and what am I talking about?

And nobody wants to see horse chariot racing, because if no one’s familiar with Ben Hur, [00:30:00] that was the, what the movie was about. Roman times and chariot races and all that. But what if in this modern remake of Ben Hur, it was motorcycle chariot racing? So they’re riding motorcycles being pulled by horses?

I don’t get it. No, they’re riding a chariot wagon thing being pulled by motorcycles. Wait a minute, how does that work? I don’t know, honestly, how this could possibly work. Is this legit? This is legit. Apparently, this was a popular form of motorsport in the 1920s and 30s, kind of around the world, and… This is the first I’ve heard of it, so you can look this up, there’s an article, there’s lots of vintage pictures in there of these people, literally in, in the, in the chariot wagon, and, and they’ve got straps attached to the throttles on these [00:31:00] motorcycles.

And apparently that’s how they’re controlling, I guess that’s how they’re in steering, I imagine, because I, I don’t think they were just going in a straight line. And, you know, they talked about, you know, the really adventurous guys would have more than one motorcycle. And I’m like, there was a picture of like a dude with like three motorcycles in front of his little chariot wagon.

In. I mean, on a scale of what to dumb as fuck, I mean, this is pretty far on the dumb AF side. I think you’re, I think you’re wrong. This is clearly from The Onion. This can’t be real. I mean, this just reinforces that motorcycle riders are on a completely different planet than the rest of us. I, you know, I didn’t do, you know, in fairness, I didn’t do a lot of fact checking around this, but, you know.

It originated in Florida. Oh, geez. It might have. I mean, these look like legit photos. Unbelievable [00:32:00] facts. com has this article on motorcycle chariot racing was a real sport in the 1920s and 1930s. Not well known. And then they have, I think at the end of the article, they’ve got some more modern age. Uh, photos.

People, people still doing this apparently. They got, these guys got a West Coast Chopper style motorcycle pulling their little chariot wagon thing. Oh. I mean. Uh, whatever. Let’s move on from that, because as if that Wait, there’s a video. There is, you know, I didn’t watch the video. I’m watching it now, there’s a video, and it works.

I will watch the video after this, I did not, I was too To beside myself to own this by watching this is priceless. Based on Brad’s face, this is going to be the greatest thing you watch all month. I’m going to snap that out. That’s the cover photo of this month’s episode. She’s Bradley. [00:33:00] So it’s a 30 second video.

Wow. All we need. We think that’s crazy. Well, we can go to a crazier town. Cause. There is, what could possibly go wrong speeding around well in excess of 100 miles an hour on public highways in an 1100 horsepower DIY Audi RS3? What could go wrong? Nothing. That’s legit. I think absolutely nothing could possibly go on.

Go wrong. Street racing on a highway with your 1100 horsepower. It’s all bolt ons. They’re under warranty. It says home built.

Well, we got to do something now that Garrett’s declared bankruptcy, right? You build your own turbo. So I’m gonna cut right to the chase on this one. A brake line breaks on this car that’s doing almost 150 miles an hour. Brake [00:34:00] fluid obviously spews out onto the hot brakes, which then ignite. Okay. Um, and essentially by the time they get the car stopped, because they didn’t have any brakes, the whole frickin thing goes up in flames because a fuel line melted and then the frickin everything catches on fire basically at this point.

I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I, like, there’s a video because these guys were GoPro ing this whole thing, and they were, they were street racing, they, there was other people in um, McLaren, and, and, and the GTR, this, that, and the other, and they were doing hot pulls on the highway, and all those shenanigans that you shouldn’t be doing, um.

And so there’s footage of the in car and the dialogue between the driver and the passenger and then there’s some later GoPro footage of the other people that saw the car sparks and smoke coming out of it. But I do imagine that it must have been pretty terrifying to be [00:35:00] going that fast, have smoke start coming into the car, and then realize that you don’t have any brakes.

But these people were

buffoons. Oh, man. Okay. And also, I want to know, did something else happen besides the brake failure? Because at one point, the passenger asks, can you turn the motor on and downshift? Presumably, you know, engine, slow down the car, engine brake, right? To which the driver answers, no, it’s dead. So if initially the brake line broke, the super hot brakes because you keep doing these hot pulls and you’re slowing down from 150 and you ignite your brakes, why the hell can’t the car start?

Like why is the car stall? The ECU. Got it. It burned a ground wire somewhere. Who knows? I mean, or something else happened. I don’t know. What was claimed was that the brake line was the [00:36:00] initiating factor. So, they have that conversation about turning the car on. They can’t turn the car on. Shortly after, in the GoPro in car footage, you see the passenger door has opened.

And they’re still going. They’re going quick. Okay. And you hear this scraping noise in the video. Yes, we’re trying to Fred Flintstone this thing. And at least the response was accurate. My foot, not gonna do shit. You’re damn right it’s not at like 60 miles an hour or how fast you still were going at this point.

You’re gonna break your foot. My goodness. He needs a Mike Crutchfield 14 triple E or whatever to stop that car. Alright, then the next thing we hear. I don’t want to put you into the wall. To which I’m assuming it’s the driver talking to his car. And not concerned about, like, you know, the passenger side, the [00:37:00] passenger going into the wall.

Um, but honestly, I think at this point, that’s probably what I would have done in this situation. Well, I would have been in this situation to begin with, but. If I found myself in a situation where I couldn’t stop my car, and this is nighttime, there’s not a lot of people around, I mean, pull up gently next to the jersey wall and scrub some paint, and then fucking jump out of the car.

At any rate. Or, I would have been doing some slalom down the road too to try to scrub speed off with, with a turning motion. From the video, they just kept going perfectly in the lane as if… You know, whatever. So I don’t, you know, does that car, does that car have a handle e brake or is it a, like a push button e brake?

It’s electric. They talked about the e brake and he said it wasn’t working. They also apparently had a parachute that they couldn’t deploy for some reason or another. Oh, you buy all this stuff on eBay. I mean, what do you expect? I don’t, I don’t know. I mean, I imagine there’s, there’s a, there’s a lot of panic that was probably going on.

So I’m [00:38:00] sure they’re not thinking clearly about all their options. I mean, there was a lot of, Oh my God, we got to get out. We got to get out. How do we get out going on? Nonetheless, eventually, they, they creeped the car to a stop and then some of the other street racers, they were there, they, you know, they came rushing up, they had these little baby fire extinguishers and they were trying to, you know, extinguish the flames that were now coming out of the hood.

Oh, they were in V. I. R. I will say at least a very intelligent thing happened at this point when someone said, don’t open the hood. I mean, despite the fact that you probably couldn’t touch the hood for how hot it was with, you know, flame shooting out from under it, but, you know, it would have been catastrophic to, to lift the hood and introduce all that oxygen and feed that fire.

So thank goodness they didn’t do that. Um, the second intelligent thing was One of the guys saying, well, I’m not going to go back and get my GoPro. He damn right. You shouldn’t go back. The fricking car is on fire and golden flames at this point. [00:39:00] But the footage, that’s some pretty awesome footage. I mean, he did later, like you see him, he’s holding the GoPro.

So I guess it didn’t. So kudos to a GoPro. It didn’t melt. It did look like it had a little bit of. damage, but it didn’t, it didn’t melt. So, and they had all this footage. So clearly the GoPro survived. So kudos to GoPro. But I mean, the video goes on for a while. You see what maybe was they’re saying, Oh, the tire just exploded.

Like, and you see these big pops and stuff, which is probably possible with all the heat and flames coming out right there against the rubber, but total loss. I mean, I got one thing to say about that. Good luck on that insurance claim, bro. I mean, the, it was always the, the passenger talking the, I think the driver was shying away from incriminating himself on any of the video footage.

It doesn’t matter that that car is, it’s, uh, what it’s gone viral now. It’s in the public domain. Oh, it’s on the interwebs. Someone put it into the Microsoft. I’m sure the police had something to say when they showed up. At any rate, you know, there was a [00:40:00] good message. Well, I, I don’t, you know, perhaps the lesson here is not the street race.

You’re damn right it is. Take your 1100 horsepower to your local track folks and do it safely. And don’t overnight parts from Indonesia. So moving on, just be sticking with the theme just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We’ve got a public service announcement for you and anyone that goes to a car festival or a car show or a hot rod weekend at the beach, you know, like H2O and Ocean City.

Don’t be like this Dumfries, Virginia driver and shut down the Bay Bridge so you can do burnouts and donuts and all kinds of illegal activity in the middle of the day, you know, for for the gram. Don’t do that crap because you will get caught. You will get in trouble and you could get seriously hurt if you do it.

Um, so please don’t be like this fool and do burnouts or anything illegal on the road. It’s just not worth it. So you remember last month when we talked about the DIY turbo kit on the Audi RS3? [00:41:00] Do we remember how that ended? I especially remember the, my feet ain’t gonna do shit quote. I think Johnny Cash wrote a song about it, right?

Yeah. Burning blaze of fire. Exactly. So speaking of burning blazes of fire in car shows, we had a yet another entry come across our desk where you get to watch a twin turbo diesel pickup truck explode on the dino as it’s making 3000 horsepower. It is epic. And it’s one of those things that is It’s extremely interesting because diesel, I don’t know, I don’t want to go there.

I’m going to leave that alone. It is something to behold again, another DIY and example of another perfect DIY scenario that ends in a huge flaming dumpster fire. I mean, it’s been a while since I watched that video, but I mean, that was Could have been catastrophic. I [00:42:00] mean, parts were flying. If I recall, like people could have lied.

I mean, that was insane. It is epic. So if you are a diesel owner, always remember to watch your EGTs, uh, especially when you’re making that kind of horsepower. Another person in Florida and a person in California who thinks it’s a good idea to steal a police car and drive away in it. Somebody’s played too much Grand Theft Auto.

The guy in California sure did. He was, he impersonated himself as a police officer and went into like a stop at a gas station, something crazy. And then tried to, um, actually I don’t think he stole a police car. He just is impersonating a police officer, went into like a gas station, rest stop, tried to like search somebody or something, but they wouldn’t let him.

And then there happened to be other cops there that showed up and were like, what’s going on? Show us your badge and all this stuff. Obviously didn’t have one. So he jumps in his Ford Edge and goes on like a. Blazes down the road and he’s in a hot pursuit, or the [00:43:00] cops are in a hot pursuit of him. Is he chasing himself because he’s impersonating him?

Right, exactly. Except he, he, he, like, he almost gets away. So they lose him, and then the only reason… Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we gotta stop for a second here because… Again, my imagination is still pretty good. So I’m envisioning certain things here. First of all, you said it’s white, it’s a white Ford edge, right?

Because that is, it was a great one either way. That is like the uniform security guards car of choice. Right? So he already kind of had the look going for him. So it probably says like Eagle eyes security on the side of the thing or whatever. And then you tell me, okay, he’s in a Ford Edge. We’re talking maybe, maybe the 2.

3 liter, maybe the 2. 5 liter normally aspirated four cylinder, or smaller, could be the two liter out of the focus, right? And you, you want to tell me he almost lost? The Mighty Crown Vix? Well, I don’t know if they were Crown Vix or they [00:44:00] were… Explorers? It’s this stock photo of one of those Dodge Charger type.

Oh, okay. Even better. What the heck? So, so, you know, he… So it’s Bullet all over again. So he drives away, and like, they throw out the spikes to get him. They didn’t get him and he gets away. And so then the only Was he got go go gadget like wheels or something? run flats. I don’t know because the only reason they caught back up to him was because somebody called in a gray Ford Edge that was going 80 or 90 miles an hour past a high school.

And so then the cops began the pursuit again. They tried the spikes a second time, still got away from the spikes. Okay. If only he had turned on the yellow lights on the roof, they wouldn’t have stopped him, right? Mall security. It’s like, what’s it, Paul Blart?

So then they deploy the spikes a third time. What is this, Need [00:45:00] for Speed? Yeah, we graduated from Grand Theft Auto, Need for Speed. Either he got slowed down by the third set of spikes, or I don’t know, because he was able to continue driving, and then finally, they like, rammed him, and then like, flipped him over.

He wasn’t hurt, neither were the police officers. Oh, well that’s important. That is epic. Like, I am so confused. Like, all of this makes no sense. They always say, like, you can’t outrun Motorola. Except if you’re in a Ford Edge. No, but he didn’t outrun him because the Karen caught him.

The Karen and the school pickup line. Yeah. Oh my God! Wait, I’m so confused. Isn’t everybody home from school right now? Why were they in the school parking lot? Again, this is a mystery wrapped in an [00:46:00] enigma inside of a puzzle. It’s like Westworld. Okay, testing. I don’t know who was near the high school to see him drive by the high school.

We maybe, I mean, the high school is probably in a neighborhood, so it was the Karen next door. A lot of there’s, that’s how it is down here. Actually, you drive through neighborhoods. Suddenly there’s a school there, so it’s plausible. Someone was out walking their dog and this Ford Edge goes by. You’re like, Whoa, what was that?

It’s 30 miles an hour. I was going to say more like

40. What was that gray blob?

And it’s terrible. That’s what’s going on in California this month. So, you know, I’m going to read this headline because, and I thank my local radio for giving me these nuggets periodically when I wake up in the morning. Combine crash. Man arrested for DUI after flipping farm equipment. So for anybody who doesn’t know what a combine is, it’s a [00:47:00] gigantic harvester, essentially, okay?

It’s a gigantic piece of farm equipment. And this is a North Dakota man. Okay, and I don’t know much about farm equipment, but based on the picture of the flipped over combine, I could tell that it is John Deere, and I could see the model number, so I looked it up. So it’s an S670 John Deere combine, because I was curious, like, how do you flip farm equipment, because I imagine they’re pretty heavy.

And so I want, I looked it up, so I want to know how much one weighs. So any guesses on how much you think? A farm harvester? I’m gonna go 50 tons. I’m gonna say 50 and a half.

And a half. One dollar, Bob. One dollar. So, so that’s high. That’s very high. Okay. Was it like 27? You’re getting closer. So my research indicates that with attachment, [00:48:00] um, so with the actual harvesting attachment on, on the, on the cab or the tractor piece, I guess it weighs 41, 178 pounds. So 20 tons. And I believe, um, Sorry, that is with the attachment.

So it’s 20 tons with the attachment. If you take the attachment off, which based on the photo either was never on to begin with or it came off in the flipping, um, you drop two tons. So, this person managed to flip 18 to 20 tons of metal. In a field. In a field. I mean, presumably. I wish I could tell where exactly he was.

I got one, I got one answer for this. How? I got one answer. One answer. Aliens. I would love, I wish there was a GoPro with this one. See he, he hit the nitrous button and he didn’t have the, uh, the anti, uh, pull up bars. He didn’t have wheelie bars on [00:49:00] his tractor, yeah, yeah. I mean, this reminded me of, of cars where they go tractor tipping.

You know, . I love the fact that he was driving the combine because they revoked his driver’s license from an earlier DUI, I mean, don’t drink and drive people. I mean, maybe, maybe he ran over, they attach him in part with the tractor and then he flipped it over. I mean, that’s still, I mean, you’re in the middle of a field.

What the hell else sat there? So he, so he was pulling a grave digger. Or, or he discovered a landmine left over from World War II. The tractor looked pretty, or the combine looked pretty intact. I’m giving you possibilities for an unexplainable scenario here, okay? Your alien scenario sounds the best so far.

I can see Giorgio Tsoukalos now. It’s aliens. So, we’re Mulder and Scully there.[00:50:00]

Was he making crop circles? They couldn’t tell us if they were there, so we’ll just go with it. How many G’s does one of those things can sustain at Volter? How many G’s? Probably more than an 84 Camaro. How many G’s? How many G’s does this sustain flipping over? Oh my god. Goodness gracious. Did it win the 84 handling contest?

Ha ha ha ha. Solid axle. Let’s go a little further north. And kind of show that it’s not just our friends in Florida or North Dakota or Michigan. That do crazy things, but. You know, I’m disappointed by this next one because I, I, I tend to hold our northern neighbors in pretty high regard. There’s some, there’s some top notch folk that I’ve met coming out of Canada, but such is life.

There’s always one that ruins it for the rest of us. And in this case… They’re giving self driving cars a really bad rap. So a Canadian driver of a Tesla was found to [00:51:00] sleep at the wheel doing 150 kilometers an hour. So for us south of the border, that’s more or less 90 miles an hour. They were on a Canadian highway where most speed limits are 110 kilometers an hour or 70 miles an hour.

So obviously This is incredibly reckless, and not at all how Tesla Autopilot is intended to be used. So, soapbox time. Wake up, fools of the world. Alright, this stuff isn’t fully autonomous, okay? You cannot go to sleep and not expect to rear end a slow moving tractor trailer and die, okay? Stop it. Ooh, brutal.

Stop. Alright, off the soapbox. So, the best part… The driver had the seat fully reclined. And not just the driver, but there was a passenger as well. So there are two fools in this story. Were the tray tables down also? You need to be in your upright and locked position at all times. I want to know what Candle scent he was using a [00:52:00] hundred percent.

It’s called Moose tracks. And I have to say, I’ve got an argument or I’ve got an issue with the self-driving car part. There’s no such thing as a self-driving car. There are cars with self-driving capabilities, but there’s no such thing as a self-driving car. No. And it’s, and it’s, and it, and it Erics me ’cause it’s really not even, it shouldn’t even be called self-driving.

We should be calling it driver assistance because until these things become fully autonomous. Then they will be self driving. Well, for this one, this one is called Sleep Aids. Now, there’s a confusing part to the article, and I want to see what you guys think, so I’m going to read it verbatim, okay? The car appeared to be self driving, traveling over 140 kilometers an hour, with both front seats completely reclined, and both occupants appearing to be asleep.

After the police flashed their lights, The Tesla electric vehicle reportedly sped up to exactly 150 kilometers an hour, according to the [00:53:00] Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I’m really confused about what the, why did it accelerate? I don’t understand. So it turned into a getaway car? But it… Is 90 miles an hour a high speed chase in Alberta?

I have no idea. Like I literally had to read that several times. I don’t understand. I don’t know why they even mention it, but at any rate, apparently, maybe it is a self driving Tesla. He wanted to get away. It’s fully autonomous. I’m going to go with aliens, Alex, for the win. So did the combine flip over trying to avoid a driverless car coming down the highway?

Maybe he got scared. Seeing nobody in the car, in the car going down the road. Was it a self driving combine? Oh, hmm. So, nonetheless, this driver was charged for speeding, given a 24 hour license [00:54:00] suspension, um, for driving while fatigued, and further was slapped with dangerous driving charges for which they have to appear in court.

So all, uh, deserved. Fail at life. I’m sorry, honey, I can’t drive tonight, I’m too fatigued. When are, so, real quick, when are we breaking this up for the bike trail one? I saw Brad’s name next to it. Sorry. Yeah, go ahead. You’ll, you’ll, you can put it back in whatever order. Oh, I, I just didn’t know because it looked like you skipped over it, so I just, I didn’t know if you wanted to break up the conversation.

Sorry. Yeah, go ahead. I, I moved it there, but then I was looking at my other notes where I didn’t have it in there. So we talked earlier about off roaders. We talked about the Bronco. We talked about the Jeeps. We talked a little bit about the new Range Rover Defender that’s coming out that I don’t know anything about, but let’s talk about off roading in general and something that you’re not supposed to do when you go off roading.

And one thing you’re not supposed to do is drive down a hiking or bike trail. And in California, one driver figured that out the hard way. There’s an article on The Drive about a California man, not a [00:55:00] Florida man, or a Michigan man, or a South Dakota or Alberta man, that took his Jeep Wrangler, that looks fairly stock, you know, looking at it, looks like he’s got big tires, and that’s, you know, pretty much it, not too much else going on here.

And he drove up a bike trail, uh, near Loma Linda on the, it looks like the West Ridge Trail. And there’s a part of the trail where it gets super narrow and on either side of this what looks to be like it may be three or four foot trail, maybe five foot trail. It’s just drop on either side. And this guy or girl, you know, there’s off roading women as well.

Got this car stuck. Freaked the F out and just rolled. Now there’s a Jeep just parked on top of this bike trail on top of a mountain. Uh, and it’s just there. Uh, so there’s talk. How are we going to get it out? People have suggested use a helicopter. You know, and go in and lift it out. That’s really the only way they could get a couple other G people to drive illegally to get to it and then try and haul it out.

[00:56:00] Anything like that is probably going to upset the balance and it’s probably going to end up falling down. And if any winches attached, it’s probably going to end up taking the recovery vehicle with it. So. If you’re looking for a jeep and you’re up for a challenge, please go to Loma Linda to the West Ridge bike trail and hiking trail and see if you can get one.

As far as we know, it’s still there. I can’t wait when that guy gets the bill from the police having to helicopter that car out of there. That’s going to be bonkers. I can’t wait to see all the. Like stomping boot prints and everything from all the hikers that are mad that it’s in their way because he’s blocking the box.

What are you talking about? The selfie potential here? True, true. I mean, who wants to take a trip with me to California?

Moving on to a follow up update from the story we had last month about the stranded Jeep in California. Ford, you know, someone really [00:57:00] intelligent at Ford decided to reach out to this Jeep owner and ask if he needed some help. Someone at Ford, you know, reached out, sent the guy an email and the guy confirmed that he was contacted by Ford and they were going to rescue the Jeep for him.

He did not take them up on their offer and instead his Jeep was recovered by a huge group of Jeepers and people would pick up trucks and even in helicopter. Came out to get in on the fun. So Ford tried, it was a great publicity stunt. Had they been able to do it, but unfortunately the owner of the Jeep did not take them up on it.

Well, I heard they, he turned them down because they offered to pull them out with a Bronco and he would have been too embarrassed. That allegedly they, they were talking about. Pulling them out with a Bronco, but I’m, I’m sure Ford probably would have sent some big tractor or something to go out there and get them or whatever.

It would have been great for a photo op. It would have been excellent advertising had they been able to do it, but I guess they just, it wasn’t in the cards. Regardless, someone give that man or woman at Ford a raise. Yes. Brilliant. Was it good? Hey, but was it going to [00:58:00] be the Sasquatch edition? That’s what I want to know, man.

If they were really bold, they would have pulled out their test EB. F 150. That’s right. Sent it. So speaking of cars falling off of things. Yes, so a Michigan man. Oh God. Back to the great state of Michigan, a 26 year old Michigan man pulled what reporters called a Dukes of Hazzard over the 4th Street drawbridge in Detroit.

Reports say the bridge began to rise, the man gunned it in his Dodge sedan, it’s unclear how wide the opening was at this point, but he nonetheless made it to the other side. Despite what one may have seen in the Dukes of Hazzard show. The man did not keep speeding away. He blew out all four tires on landing and then smashed into the safety gate on the other side.

And his Dodge Stratus.[00:59:00]

Oh God. Well, that’s why he blew everything out. He did it with the wrong car. He needed a charger. A hundred percent. Was it, or was it Stratus Orange? I was hoping there was more information on the car, but they just left it at Dodge Sedan. AKA Neon.

Wait, do combines float? Oh my god. Next month, combine tried to be taken across Detroit drawbridge. The combine was used to pull the jeep off of the bike trail. So, I mean, it’s again, it’s all clipped. Oh wait, it wasn’t California though. Dang. Alien abductions. It’s, it’s always aliens. Well, probably very little known.

Nissan 300 ZX turbo commercial that unless you were watching the Super Bowl back in 1990, you probably missed this little gem because that was the first and the last time that [01:00:00] that, uh, commercial was ever shown. And, and it’s not because it was, you know, a terrible commercial. I mean, it’s very bizarre, um, and maybe fit in with 1990.

I don’t know. I mean, it’s, it’s. It’s this guy in his 300 ZX turbo, and he’s dreaming. And for some unknown reason, he’s on some random deserted desert road and he’s being chased by a motorcycle and then some bizarre looking prototype and then a plane. And then, and then the plane is trying to catch him.

But as he says. Just as they’re about to catch me, the twin turbos kick in and he like skyrockets off some ramp or some crap like this, like off the hill in the road. I mean, it’s bizarre. It makes zero sense. It’s very dystopian, Mad Max ish. The reason why it was never, ever [01:01:00] showed again is apparently the insurance Institute.

got very upset, uh, because apparently it was, it was just glorifying speeding. And it’s like, really, have you seen a car movie or any other car commercial? No, it just exemplified everything that Ridley Scott put his hands on. So if you’ve watched Aliens, if you’ve watched Um, Oh, why can’t I think of the name of any new blade runner blade runner?

Yes. If you’ve watched aliens, if you’ve watched blade runner, you, what you described dystopian makes no sense. The whole thing that is you’ve summarized everything he’s ever put his hands on. So to me, when I saw this. I wasn’t shocked, but I was. I was in awe of what I had seen though. So I recommend people definitely check it out.

What they didn’t show at the end of that video is after the twin turbos kick in, the motor blows up and [01:02:00] at a crawl.

It did remind me of the gentleman that jumped the bridge in Detroit last month as he came off of that ramp. I think all four tires were blown out and that motor was on the ground. Send it! I wonder how many 300ZX were destroyed in the making of that commercial, but anyway. Not enough. So last month we talked about our crazy northern neighbor who…

Thought it was alright to, you know, recline the seat in your Tesla, stick that sucker in autopilot and just cruise on down the road. Well, there was a, the headline about watching a clip of a Tesla Model 3 failing an automatic emergency brake test that is hilarious. And so it caught my attention, of course, um, from our friends at Jalopnik.

And so I clicked into it and it’s really, I mean, it’s, it’s a little bit of clickbait, if you will, cause The whole self driving automatic braking is not a Tesla unique thing. Um, it’s, [01:03:00] it’s across a lot of different manufacturers are trying to roll out this technology. Tesla really likes to beat their drum on it and claim a little bit falsely about how autonomous their quote self driving is when the, the fact of the matter is nobody has.

100 percent autonomous self driving vehicles right now. The technology is not robust enough yet. And so obviously all these manufacturers have to do tests and whatnot. And, and, um, speaking of robots, they use dummies, um, that kind of. They got rails in the ground and they got a little dummy that like shoots across and there’s a car coming and the car with these automatic brake features is supposed to stop.

Right. But no, I mean, it’s funny, poor dummy, you know, um, I mean, it obliterates the dummy. I mean, it looked like 10 pin bowling. I mean, it was like everywhere. I mean, and, and not to beat on Tesla because there was another. Clip or, or screenshot of a Honda, um, and it obliterated the dummy as well. So, I mean, it’s not, again, it’s not a [01:04:00] Tesla only problem.

It’s a technology ready problem. I mean, it’s not ready, but the article also interestingly had another video embedded in it. That is from the European new car assessment program, where they were doing a series of automatic break tests with Volkswagen, Mercedes, Volvo and Ford sedans. And they, and it was really, it was really interesting in video.

Um, it makes you think. It makes your heart skip a beat sometimes, um, but they kind of did two tests, um, with each set of the cars. One was they had an adult mannequin, um, with an unobstructed view for the, for the car that crosses out in front of the path of the car and they tested, you know, whether the car stopped or not.

In that scenario, none of the mannequins were struck. All the cars did stop. Um, however, if I had been in the car in that same situation, I would have stopped way earlier than what the automatic braking system did. Because I have eyes and a [01:05:00] brain, or, you know, I don’t know, maybe they’re just programmed with a smaller tolerance.

I personally wouldn’t stop within inches of a human being, especially if I can see them. Like I would have already been slowing down and stop. So, I mean, there were. What I would have considered close calls all the cars basically panic stopped and I don’t think if you know, if you’re paying attention while driving and that’s what you should be doing, you know, there’s no reason to panic stop when you see a pedestrian crossing in front of you.

Okay. Then they did the child. Test so they had a smaller mannequin and they had an obstructed view. So basically they parked a series of cars kind of as if you were going down a street and there were cars parked along along the curbing. And then, and then the child kind of came out from in front of those cars and cross the path of the test vehicle.

Unfortunately, for the child mannequin, um, 1 of the multiple runs, they did with the Mercedes. The Mercedes struck the mannequin a little bit, didn’t obliterate it. The leg just kind of fell off, [01:06:00] which, I mean, in the real world, none of this is okay. Um, we’re just kind of making light of it here, but, um, We just hit him a little bit.

But you know what, but you know what is okay? playing it in slow motion while listening to chariots of fire. And then it becomes extremely entertaining. Um, so they didn’t show any other impacts. So presumably the other test runs, um, were fine. The, none of the, the, the Volvo, um, the, the VW, they didn’t hit any of the mannequins.

I will say. From the footage, the VW appeared to stop with the largest gap in front of the mannequins versus the Volvo and the Mercedes. And I don’t know why, for whatever reason, there was a Ford Fusion that was shown on the child obstructed view. Maybe it never stopped. And that’s the reason. Hashtag cars and coffee.

I don’t know. So I’ve got a philosophical question for you. What do you think is easier, an easier problem to solve? [01:07:00] Teaching these cars to stop for these obstructions using the LIDAR and the radar and whatever, or teaching these morons not to walk out into the street in front of a moving car. Which one do you think is easier?

That is a very difficult question. I mean, it goes back to the whole joke about astronauts in space and writing instruments, right? We spent a gajillion dollars to design a pen that worked in zero gravity. And the Russians took pencils, right? It’s the same simplicity principle. So yeah, I agree. We need to spend more time teaching people a, how to drive better and be to be more aware and get off of their phones and whatever, as they’re walking around and kids are kids, right?

Kids are hard being a parent. They’re, they’re, they’re rambunctious. They are not aware. They, they think they’re alone in their own little world in their own little bubble. So you have to be extra vigilant and extra careful, but as adults. If you don’t know to look both ways, I don’t know, [01:08:00] there’s a lot to be said there, right?

You shouldn’t be driving. You should be walking, you mean. Yeah, you shouldn’t be driving or walking. You should be home in your bubble. But speaking of people that don’t look ahead while they’re driving. In Kentucky, Kentucky man or woman, we don’t really know, decides to try and run over a nine foot tall snowman during a recent snowstorm.

And what do you think happened? Who won? Frosty or the driver? I’m going to tell you Frosty won because Frosty had a secret weapon. He had wood. He was built over a tree stump in the middle of this guy’s yard. And I don’t know what happened. No, they never caught the, uh, the person affected by the instant karma.

Um, but apparently this guy did not like this snowman, this nine foot tall snowman, and decided to try to take it out with a pick em up truck. And he lost. Dang. So, like, did he leave the truck there, [01:09:00] damage the truck? Do we know? No, the owner of the property built the snowman in the morning, I guess, or the night before, and then went back after work, you know, the next night, and there was, the tree trunk was exposed.

Frosty was still standing there, and there were truck marks or tire marks leading up to Frosty. Wow. Frosty won, though. I mean, I think the big question is… What compels a person, you know, but I think we’ll leave that open ended for our listeners to answer for themselves. But you know, if you, if you’ve taken part in, in running over snowmen, I would be really curious to know why.

So right, right in, you know, send me a DM on that one. So we would be remiss again, not having a Florida man to comment on. Oh boy. And of course, a headline like Florida man makes scooter with mop bucket and leaf blower. You[01:10:00]

have to click on that. I mean, it very well might be clickbait, but you have to click on it, right? Um, and so I did. Harley, take note. And okay, so first of all, I want to say. That leaf blower is forced induction. All right. That is some turbo charged action right there. Is it a Ryobi? Is it a Ryobi 18 volt? No, no, this, this is, this is horrible.

Like video, there’s a video to watch and I mean, definitely watch the video. Um, but this whole thing is absurd and it’s. Fake. I mean, 100%, what a publicity stunt. Let’s be real. There’s so many things wrong. Why this isn’t going to work. Um, I mean, the still images are freaking ridiculous. If you look at them and again, the video, I definitely recommend it, but let’s walk through it.

First of all, The video starts [01:11:00] the man in it. We’re talking like the yellow janitorial mop bucket, right? We’ve all seen them on castor wheels. Okay. The video starts the man takes his mop bucket and he dumps the water out from it. Then suddenly, though, the mop bucket. The caster wheels are gone. It’s sitting on a skateboard.

Okay. Next, the magic of Hollywood, magic of Hollywood. This is why this is all fake, but it gets better because next he’s holding the leaf blower, which appears to me.

To be in a plu to be a plug in electric type blower, okay? Okay, wasn’t gas Wasn’t battery, was no Ryobi, okay? No fucking DeWalt. He pull starts it and you have sound effects as if there’s a gas engine running. Okay, n n nothing started when he, whenever he pulled, okay? Now, the umbrella. [01:12:00] He’s holding an umbrella out in front of him.

Unless this is a NASA developed umbrella. Okay, have y’all ever used an umbrella in the wind? It takes approximately 2. 0 seconds for it to flip the other way when there’s, um, a little bit of wind. So how the hell is he, uh, if the leaf blower was even running, how is the umbrella even stable? Okay, I call bullshit.

All right. I think we found a new form of racing here. And then, and then maybe, but, and then, this just cheap, like, Wal Mart brand looking electric plug in blower that’s operating off magic right now, because it’s not plugged into anything. How the hell do you expect it to, to propel a 200 pound some odd man or something across the road when you can barely sometimes push leaf clippings or grass clippings in your yard with the leaf [01:13:00] blower, but yet he propelled himself with the leaf blower that’s not plugged in with the umbrella.

I mean, Florida, you don’t need to make the stuff up. It already comes naturally. But thank you. Nonetheless, I mean, it was, it’s amusing. I mean, watch it. I mean, Every time I look at this, it just gets worse and worse and worse. Stop poking holes. I mean, the still pictures, you’re like, okay. And then you watch the little, the video and you’re like, yeah, okay.

I mean, great job. Fun video. Oh, I’m sure people were staring at you. Florida man does Florida man things. Exactly. Well, let’s talk about Michigan men. Because they’re a special breed too. I’ve got to say, move over Toyota Hilux because the terrorists of the world have a new preferred vehicle. It is the PT Cruiser.

There’s a video out there posted on Jalopnik on October 19th of a group of terrorists in [01:14:00] Michigan. They’re called the Wolverine Watchmen and they were developing a plan to kidnap the governor of Michigan. I guess they have, you know, differing political views and they thought the best way to handle it was to instead of getting out there and vote, they would get out there and kidnap and their vehicle of choice.

Was a PT cruiser. The video is actually quite interesting. These men are getting out. I guess they’re doing some sort of military drill where they drive up and they stop the BT cruiser. They get out of all four doors and they just start shooting into somewhere. I don’t know where they’re just wasting ammo for the sake of wasting ammo.

But yeah, so Toyota Hilux is no longer the preferred vehicle of terrorists. It’s the PT cruiser. Did you get rid of the dude filming himself shooting? Oh, cause that would have gone so well with this. I wonder if that Kentucky man had a differing political view with snowmen. Maybe. Global warming.[01:15:00]

Oh my god. Alright, back, let’s go back down south to Florida for a hot second. So, Florida man and woman, quote, obviously racing. So it was reported that two people were traveling at high rates of speed in and out of traffic and trying to pass each other. Now I’m going to ask, gentlemen, let’s have some guesses here.

Now we don’t know what the woman was driving or the man was driving, but what two cars do you think were involved in this? Obviously, racing scenario. Oh, one of them has to be a 1999 Dodge Caravan. I am thinking a Pontiac Sunfire with one headlight and a dent in the passenger door and then A Dodge Intrepid with the other headlight out.

It’s gonna be, it’s gonna be a, it’s gonna be a [01:16:00] late 90s, early 2000s Corolla Automatic and a, I’m thinking they’re, they’re obviously racing on the highway and an HHR just because I want it to be an HHR. I actually think it’s a Cadillac Cimarron. And a Cadillac Cimarron. Ha ha ha ha! You found the last two in existence!

Beck Racer Cimarron. Now, do you think that Cimarron can get over 100 miles an hour? Doubtful. 100 kilometers per hour. Ha ha! So, they were traveling in speeds of excess of 100 miles an hour, apparently. I think you will be surprised with the two cars, based on your guesses, that were dead wrong. It was, in fact…

A Yugo. A 1991 Eagle Talon at 108 miles an hour [01:17:00] and a 2013 Subaru Impreza at 117 miles an hour. I, I, you know what? You know what? Mad props to the Eagle Talent. That’s all I’m going to say. For still running. Right? That’s the true gem of this story, was the Eagle Talent. 100%. Because the 117 is not impressive with the Subaru.

That’s actually pretty sad. But that Eagle, that’s good stuff right there. Especially for early 90s. Which person was driving which? We don’t know. They didn’t say. I think the woman was driving the Talon. I’m with you on that. I don’t know why, but I am. And on that. So, um, so we’ll round out the last two with a little bit lighter, um, less, less serious and fun things.

So I learned very recently that apparently Shaq, Mr. Shaquille O’Neal, is going to be executive producer and star [01:18:00] in an animated comedy for kids called Shaq’s Garage. So I really didn’t know that apparently Shaq must be a bit of a car enthusiast, so, so interesting to him. Um, the show follows the secret adventures of the NBA legends collection of animated cars and trucks, all of which have unique abilities from super spying to language to music.

Shaq. The lead vehicle is named Big Diesel and will be voiced by Shaq. Through comedy and adventure, the show will showcase strong and diverse characters as positive role models with purposeful storytelling. This is going to be a special show that touches every button, music, adventure, humor, and positive, prideful messaging for kids.

That’s kind of nice. So hopefully, and from the animation, it actually looks a lot, um, very much like cars, the, the cartoon movie. Um, so I mean, it’s nice to, to see something that it’s, it’s fun and positive messaging in the world, especially for little kids. I hope he’s successful [01:19:00] with that endeavor. Um, and did you want, I was going to say, no, go continue your thought.

No, go ahead. So to Shaq’s credit, I actually wrote about him in an article right after, uh, season two of car masters came out the rust to riches, uh, series there, which was Eric, sorry, season two of car masters, which is known as the upgrade and trade season. And they talked about a kit car known as the Vader.

Which is built on a G35 infinity shack happens to own one of those. So, and I actually have a picture of him in his Vader in that article. So I think he is a bit of a car guy. Um, obviously that’s a specialty car. It’s obviously a kit car, but I would be very curious to know what else is in Shaq’s garage.

So kind of cool to know that he is a bit of a petrol head. Did they say where this. Show is going to be, I guess, broadcast. I didn’t see it. I didn’t, I don’t think I saw a car to network [01:20:00] with a K cartoon channel, cartoon with a K. So I do not know where that is. What, what service that is, or, I mean, I’d check it out.

It sounds fun to me. It does, but let’s talk about real fun because we are getting. dangerously close to Halloween. Yes, we are. We are at time of this recording, fast approaching the witching hour, otherwise known as Halloween, and 2020 has been quite the year so far and unfortunately I think threatens typical Halloween trick or treating and other activities all across the country.

Um, and if you recall a few months ago, we reported on a drive through Halloween experience that was coming to Florida.

And we have one more piece of random news before we close out the… It’s a future Florida Man story. Yes, this is. Folks, we are going back to Florida on this one. I could not pass [01:21:00] up this article when I saw the headline. It’s new drive thru Halloween experience coming to Orlando this fall. And I’m just going to go and quote directly the Orlando Weekly.

At a time when most Halloween events are cancelling on 2020 completely, a group of Central Florida creatives is hosting a drive thru experience to scare the crap out of you in the safety of your own car. The, quote, Haunted Road bills itself as Orlando’s first immersive, completely contactless drive thru Halloween experience.

They plan to tell an original theatrical story through twisted creatures and, quote, unexpected scares in every drive thru scene. I love this. And I am extremely worried about the execution of this. If there’s one thing that I loved, or that I love, it’s being scared while behind the wheels of an automobile.

I just love that. It’s just amazing. I can’t wait [01:22:00] for the Florida Man stories to come out of this. I mean, how many, what’s the over under on how many people are going to get killed in crowd control? It’s going to look like that groupie rally documentary that I watched. And then, some genius, because you’re probably going to do this with your headlights off, is going to have a candle in their car, because they can’t see where the hell they’re going.

So it’s a win across the board. Stay tuned, folks, for more, more on this story. I can’t even imagine. All I know is that when I, I like Haunted Houses and Haunted Forests and all those things. Sign me up. I won’t watch a scary movie, but I will walk through a Haunted Forest. It makes complete sense. But I will say that I instinctually take off running at the sound of chainsaws.

So I do not know what would happen if I’m in my car and I hear a bunch of chainsaws going. And it’s just. Oh, I know what would happen. It would look like, you ever see those Florida flea markets, where the guy, like, drives right in there? I mean, I’m sorry. It’s not funny, [01:23:00] but it is. I mean, I, I sincerely hope that it goes off safely and it’s a great production.

It could be a lot of fun. I’m waiting for the YouTube videos on this one. I am ecstatic. Well, I, I don’t think this is something that I can go to. Being somebody that has been thrown out of a Six Flags. for pushing somebody at one of these Halloween events. Uh, I probably will not be going to this

Oh, yeah, folks, it is here and it’s still running through November 7th. So if you find yourself in or are from Orlando area, the Orlando area. You know, go check this out. It seems like it’s probably going to be a pretty cool thing. Um, there’s no bad things to report here. Just reporting on this, you know, um, this activity.

So just want to give a shout out to what seems like a really cool idea. Wish I could go on something like this. Um, I [01:24:00] love haunted houses and Halloween and all that. Um, it looks pretty cool. That’s it. I will say looking back, we did make fun of it a little bit, but. Putting on our COVID goggles, this drive through trick or treat Halloween experience makes a lot of sense.

And I will say, tune in to our November drive through for Florida Man Runs Over Vampire and Werewolf. I was curious. I did go on their website, thehauntedroad. com, and you can, and they list kind of out all their safety features and this, that, and the other. And so basically, Um, they’ve, I think they’ve thought of that.

So they said that as you’re driving the car through this attraction, um, nobody is going to be interacting with you. So it’s kind of like a point A to B to C to D kind of thing. And then you kind of drive up to the, the scene or the scenario or whatever. And then that’s where the interaction happens in your car to put your car in park and this, that, and the other.

And, and while you’re moving from one, um, checkpoint or [01:25:00] scene to the next, you, you, the speed limit is five miles an hour and all this stuff. And all the performers are, are wearing masks and complying with, you know, um, COVID recommendations and same thing. If you’re in your car and your windows are up.

You’re fine. If you have your windows down, they ask that you do also please wear masks, etc, etc. So apparently there’s also a, like, super scary experience for. Um, like certain age group or whatever that costs like way extra. So I’m not sure what you’re getting out of that, but it’s, it’s, it’s called carjacking.

That’s what I know. It’s like an extra 80 bucks or something to go on like the ultimate experience or something. I’m like, Whoa, it’s to pay the tow truck driver. So you can get it at a Hawk later. Yeah. I don’t know. I want to throw out a challenge to any of our listeners who may be in that area who decide to go to this.

Please put a GoPro on the top of your car. We would love to see footage from it. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, folks, it’s time to wrap things up. Our last Florida man [01:26:00] on here actually isn’t a Florida man, but a Michigan woman who sets her boyfriend’s Jeep on fire. I’d say Ex-boyfriend. Yes. At this point, uh, I, I do believe that would be accurate.

I also think, um, you know that this one could be retitled. Michigan woman reenacts waiting to exhale an apartment parking lot. I’m gonna go out on a limb here. Angela Bassett fan has the waiting to exhale DVD extended cut. And she’s not too big on science. Uh, you know, thankfully no one was seriously injured.

The boyfriend was not, or the ex boyfriend, was not in the car, was not in the jeep. Um, I mean, the arsonist no doubt bumps and bruises and some burns, um, but nothing that was reported as life threatening. Did they use a candle? There’s a comments team here. I mean, if you haven’t seen the video, because somebody in, like, the, [01:27:00] uh, another apartment building just videoed the whole thing on their phone, so it’s, it’s, it’s spectacular.

It’s definitely a what did I just watch moment. It’s out there, go look at it. I mean, she doused the interior of the Jeep with gasoline and then she sticks a stick lighter Inside to light it, presumably thinking that it’s just going to gently light, maybe like the candle. That’s what the movies show us.

The movies show us the gasoline lights nice and slow and just takes a trail. Yeah, no, except in reality what happens is all those, the vapors ignite first. They create a blast that sends you. Rocketing into the parked, uh, car that’s right next to the Jeep as is what happened. She slammed into it like WWE.

I mean, it was incredible. I mean, she quickly picked up all our things and scampered off as the video showed. Um, craziness in Michigan. [01:28:00] Florida man, Michigan woman. There you go. So speaking of craziness, I think now it’s time for us to order up a side of Golden Nuggets. What do you guys think? Anyway, so that was that was fun the hits keep on coming the hits keep on coming Anyway, oh that is just wow so much florida so much florida action there The more you know You

There’s some idiot in a Volvo, with his bright sun behind me. I lean out the window and scream, Hey, whatcha tryna do, blind me? My wife says maybe we should

If you like what you’ve heard and want to learn more about GTM, be sure to check us out on www. [01:29:00] gtmotorsports. org. You can also find us on Motorsports. Also, if you want to get involved or have suggestions for future shows, you can call or text us at 202 630 1770. Or send us an email at crewchief at gtmotorsports.

org. We’d love to hear from you. Hey listeners, Crew Chief Eric here. Do you like what you’ve seen, heard, and read from GTM? Great, so do we, and we have a lot of fun doing it. But please remember, we’re fueled by volunteers and remain a no annual fee organization, but we still need help to keep the momentum going.

So that we can continue to record, write, edit, and broadcast all of your favorite content. So be sure to visit www. patreon. com forward slash gtmotorsports or visit our website and click in the top right corner on the support and donate to learn how you can help.[01:30:00]

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Tania M
Tania M
Our roving reporter & world traveler. Tania’s material is usually brought to us from far off places and we can’t wait to see what field trip she goes on next! #drivethrunews
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